The Gumby Effect

That's what I want to happen when I am having a good massage. I want my whole body to relax and seemingly melt, my limbs to be like Gumby's. He's only able to hold himself in place if someone molds him a particular way. It's like this in a good massage too, the limbs only move because a therapist guides them.

I love a massage and I have had many in cities all over the world. In London, I've had several massages in China town.  My first there was the summer of 2008.  I was miserably sick, alone, and tired of being cooped up in my hotel room, so I went out for a bit, trying to muster the strength to get some fresh air. I remember being very congested and I thought a massage would ease my aching muscles.  I was given two hand towels to cover myself. Everything else was left exposed.  At the end, the girl climbed on the table and walked on my back...a first for me. I felt amazing after.

One 4th of July week, I had a wonderful visit with a masseuse in Harbor Springs, Michigan.  It was in her pilates studio and rather peculiar to start because of the openness of the room.  She was the first person to ever massage my abs and manipulate my organs.  I appreciated it after, but was curious when she began.

I've been to great spas and Turkish baths, like the one I went to in Budapest during Easter week in 2012.  That was an interesting one because I went into a curtained room and lie down face first on the floor...the male masseuse came in and never spoke one word to me. I never saw his face either.  I only knew he was male because, well, he straddled me as he worked on my back.

It baffles me when people say they don't like massages.  Perhaps it's because I have such a bad back that I yearn to have someone work out the kinks, but those people, the ones who don't like to be touched, would absolutely die if they had the experiences I've had, especially the ones I've had recently.

Before moving to China, I knew I'd get massages here.  I became quite excited about it when I found out how inexpensive they were.  I don't know what took me so long honestly, but I was here almost three weeks before I had my first.  This massage would have scared off most, and even me, a veteran in the world of massage, became quite uncomfortable.

You see, there are two major types of massages here in China. The one with your clothes on, and the one with your clothes off.  I prefer the latter honestly because I like for the therapist to be able to do a good job of working out the knots in my muscles, and I think this is more easily accomplished without clothes hindering the process.  I will say however, that the experience I first had in China leaves me with the thought that perhaps clothes off is a bit too much for me here.

I walked into the spa near my apartment one Saturday afternoon about two weeks ago. The ladies at the front desk didn't speak any English, so I said "massage" and then made motions like I was rubbing my shoulders.  I was led upstairs to a room with three tables.  The girl pointed to a shower which looked much like something out of the space age, and then showed me a switch to flip when I finished.  She gave me a towel and a pair of muslin panties.  She left the room and I showered quickly then put on my disposable undergarmet. I called for her with the flip of the switch and quickly lie down on the table, covering my bum with a towel.

She came in and worked on my legs, back and arms very aggressively, then flipped me over half way through the session.  She again did my legs and arms as well as my feet, then moved on to my abs.  Because I had had this in Michigan, I was not startled.  The next part changed my opinion of the way things were going, because thereafter, I felt quite violated.  I must preface this by saying that I usually love a good chest massage because a lot of tension is held there.  I have never, though, had anyone massage my actual breasts, that is, not until I came to China.

When she finished with my stomach, she exposed one side of my chest and I let her do her thing, although it hurt a little and I was really ready to burst out laughing at the thought of what was happening.  She went around and did the left side of my chest and again, I controlled my laughter.  I couldn't believe what was occurring.  I know I could have said, "Buyao" for no, but I let her go on because, well, I'll try just about anything once.

When I got home, I was still giggling and I thought I really must do some research on this whole breast massage concept. I actually found some good information on the benefits. For example, Livestrong.com says breast massage is good for maintaining the health of the breasts and that "its primary purpose is to rid [the] body of the harmful toxins that interfere with your health." Whether there are benefits or not, I'm not too keen on breast massage and I think next time I'll just say no.

I've been sick all weekend and not able to do much, but when I began feeling slightly better today and was asked to join a friend for a foot massage, I thought I'd take advantage of the excuse to get out of the house. We arrived at the Pullman Hotel and were taken into a private room with three reclining chairs. The gentleman who escorted us told us it would be a forty minute wait, but he brought us complimentary drinks and water. I opted for a milk tea on ice.  It's really a nice treat here.

We waited for quite some time flipping through the English channels on the TV and then one young man came in to work on my heels. I have had two pedicures here, but the bottoms of my feet are taking a beating in the heat and with all the walking, so I had them scraped. The tool today looked much like a barber's razor, but it was made of iron. It doesn't hurt at all, only sometimes tickles.

When he finished we both were drawn foot baths. The sent of rose filled the air. Our feet soaked for the first part of the massage as the masseuses worked on our backs and shoulders. Then the water was drained and our arms were given some attention. Next was our head, face, ears and neck. The girls then moved to our feet; the room now smelled of cucumber from the lotion. My massuese did my legs, covered with towels so as to not make skin to skin contact now. My friend and I were both later flipped on our stomachs and I wish you could have seen what took place next in that room.

This was the massage where you're fully dressed, and I'm glad I was in shorts because I had no idea "foot massage" entailed all of this. Teryn's girl, much heavier than mine, climbed on Teryn's back, kneeling at first. The noises that came out of Teryn were hysterical. I could barely open my eyes because it was such a funny site to see. Teryn could hardly breath. Next my girl sat, straddling my back, using her arms and legs to massage. I can't very well describe her technique, but using her upper body strength, she held herself over me and used her knees and thighs to massage my back. Unbelievable. They worked and worked and I giggled a lot. They stood, digging their feet into our muscles. They walked on us. It was a two hour episode. I suppose if you're used to this sort of thing, it's not so funny, but for a first timer in this type of situation, it is in fact quite amusing. If you knew Teryn, you'd understand how it was even more so...she's a character.

I will happily report that I did have the "Gumby Effect" in today's massage and I found it quite difficult to walk home because I was so relaxed, but I won't soon stop laughing over the experience. I still love my massages, and I've not been scared off yet, but boy, my eyes have been opened.

Potty Talk

Uhum, I thought long and hard about writing this post and I decided, as personal and unpleasant as it may be, I should write it because it's a common thing here in China.  At least, it's common for Westerners when they first arrive.

I had read on many blogs and in many guidebooks before coming, that many Westerners have had trouble adjusting to the diet in China, and thus, they have had rather upset tummies. I, for whatever reason, thought I'd be fine. I've never really had a weak stomach, and after a good week or more in Dongguan, I had had no issues.  Then it hit me.

On Monday morning, the 11th of August, just a little over a week here, I began feeling rather sick.  By that afternoon, I was miserable and had to run to the restroom several times when I got home from our training at ISD.

Tuesday I felt pretty badly, but I went about things the best I could at school, and after two or three days of a very upset stomach, I felt "fine" again.

The following Tuesday, August 19th, was the first day of school. I seemed ok most of the day, but when I got home, I was not quite right.

On that Wednesday morning, I woke very early (even before my 5 am alarm) and went to the toilet probably four times before trying to shower.  Then I spent the rest of the morning there.  I'm not sure how I managed to get hair and make-up done (except that I'm a pretty good multi-tasker...and sorry if that's gross).  I was down for the car (we now have a driver) and on my way to school by 6:35 am, but still feeling icky. I was somehow able to get through the day, but I didn't eat anything at all until around 1, when I tried some noodles, then I had a mango smoothy from our school's coffee bar around 3, thinking that the milk wouldn't bother me and the cold might be nice.

When I got home from school, I was feeling slightly better, but not great. I assumed a good night's rest would do it, so I made some very bland mashed potatoes and watched a movie before turning in. Earlier, I had made a post on Facebook saying that I was ill, and a friend of mine in Japan commented that it was the three week mark that always hit her when traveling and moving abroad.  Thursday was exactly three weeks for me.

I felt ok Friday and most of Saturday, but I have consistently had inconsistent bowel movements (like that) and on Sunday morning I woke again, running to the bathroom.  I'm not one to get sick and vomit, although I've felt like doing so here a few times.  I have just had this terrible rumbling in my stomach and the urge to find a toilet...fast.  It's not pleasant at all, but hopefully, it will pass in time.  I thought this morning when it happened, "At least it's morning and night when I'm in the privacy of my home."  I suppose that's all meaningless now that I've posted it on this blog, but when it has happened, I've been fortunate enough to be alone.  I thought one bonus would be that I'd lose a few pounds (or kilograms as my scale measures) because of it, but I have to say, disappointedly, I've not lost any weight!  Worse than that, my belly is larger than it's ever been...the bloating and discomfort are side effects I could do without.

All in all, potty talk is something I do NOT enjoy (and I mean that in many senses), but I felt the need to disclose this rather personal information.  I would suggest that if you move to or visit China, you bring some good medicine, as I did.  I'll leave you with the theme song for Pepto Bismol..."Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea."  You're bound to have at least one of those symptoms here!

Crossroads

You know, I don't really think of myself as a writer.  I mean, I like to write, and I write often, but I have never been trained at writing and I don't believe I write all that well.  That being said, I have something today that I feel I HAVE to share, and writing is a means for me to do that.  I want to write about this thing today because it's important; it's not just the moments in life that I have found funny, or the experiences I've had while traveling. Today I write with a much heavier heart, and I really hope you stick around to see why.

This afternoon, at my new school in Dongguan, we participated in a poverty simulation. Before I tell you about what that was, and what it meant to me, I have to explain first why we would do such a thing. I also need to express that, while I'm sitting here typing, I have a knot in my stomach from our earlier session and I have a pressure in my chest from the emotions I felt come out of that session, not just my own, but from everyone that was involved.  I have also already shed a few tears and I'm positive that by the time I finish this blog, I'll have shed many more.

Before I took my job at ISD, I felt very drawn to the school. Actually, it was one evening in my kitchen in Charleston, SC that I read ISD's mission statement and began to cry.  I knew that my mission as a teacher aligned with ISD's perfectly.  Essentially, I believe it is my job to educate children in the core subjects, but more importantly, it's to educate them to become lifelong learners. Along with this comes the idea that students should become better global citizens, and in doing so inspire one another to make the world a better place.  This may sound like a Miss America pageant answer to her final question, "World Peace," but honestly, it IS something that is attainable.

ISD is a school that is based upon certain standards and beliefs.  Some of those beliefs align with the International Baccalaureate program's mission:

"The International Baccalaureate aims to develop inquiring, knowledgeable and caring young people who help to create a better and more peaceful world through intercultural understanding and respect."

Today at ISD, teachers had the privilege of working with David Begbie of Crossroads Foundation.   Because I'm not a writer and I don't necessarily have the words to share EXACTLY what was felt in the room today during our time with David, I ask that you bear with me, that you open your heart, and that you really try to understand what happened and what it means.  I'll also say though, that if you EVER have the chance to work with Crossroads, you take it. There is nothing I have ever experienced quite like what I experienced today.

At 12:00 this afternoon, the faculty at the International School of Dongguan gathered in the gymnasium on campus. We were briefly introduced to David Begbie of Crossroads Foundation.  David began telling his story of how he became involved with community outreach and humanitarian work.  Then he told us about the work he'd done with some big wig companies and people such as Microsoft and Sir Richard Branson.  He made a point, however, to let us know that, at the school level, we had one of the most important jobs when it comes to "fixing" the world.  He wanted us to see what he does with these big wig companies as well as students to help us all get the bigger picture, that money isn't the only way to help people in poverty. He wanted us to experience what some people suffer through every day.  Crossroads' website quotes an old proverb, "I can't understand a man unless I walk a mile in his shoes."  Using this philosophy, the "X-periential simulations of need" were created.  Today, we at ISD participated in the poverty simulation.

We were briefly shown a demonstration (twice) of how to make paper bags out of newspaper.  We were shown how to glue them together using a mixture of flour and water and our fingers as a brush.  We were divided into "families" of five and told that we would have ten minutes to make as many bags as possible. We would have to sell our bags, ten at a time, to the shopkeepers in order to make our rent and food money for the week.  Rent would be 180 and food and water would be 100.  If we chose to have bathroom facilities, that would be another 30.

The simulation began with Bon Jovi's "It's My Life" blaring on the radio.   The shopkeepers and the landlord raced around the room screaming at us.  After my family made our first ten bags, I went, groveling on my knees, to the shopkeeper and asked, rather begged, for him to purchase them.  He explicitly showed his disgust with our product by ripping them all into shreds.  I raced back to the family feeling slightly defeated, but we kept on folding.  After our first ten minutes were up, we hadn't made a lot of money, not enough to cover rent AND food and water, but the landlord was "gracious" and allowed us to stay in our home with minimal nutrition because one of us offered up a piece of jewelry.

During the second rotation of our bag making, we were told that two of our family members had measles and so they wouldn't be able to participate.  During the first round, a free clinic had been offered, but we were so involved with our work, we didn't hear the announcement.  Once we paid for their medication, they joined us in bag making again.  In this round, when I asked a shopkeeper to buy our bags, she told me to fan her, then she asked for a kidney.  She said she would pay good money for the organ, 200.  One of my family members pretended to donate a kidney, then gave her arm. Working with her foot and one hand, she kept on producing bags.  Later in that simulation, the same girl was asked to have sex, so she was paid more money.  All of the money would go towards the family, towards the rent, the food, the water, the hope for a better future.

By the middle of the second simulation, I was shaking and nauseous.  One of my other family members thought she would burst into tears.  These were our REAL emotions, despite the make-believe setting in which we were working.  The second ten minutes ended.  We had food and water, we had rent.  Because I was so humble when I took the landlord our rent, and because I gave him a "hug," we actually didn't have to pay full rent that time.  We had a little leftover money, but not enough to send a child to school. That would cost 500, and that was our dream.

When the third round was about to begin, we were reminded about the option for bathroom facilities and how no one from our family had taken advantage of this.  Because we had not, we would have FOUR family members sick for two minutes at the start of the timer.  Our food had been contaminated with waste.

The third ten minutes finally ended, and by this time I had sold my bracelet, my watch, and my grandmother's ring, along with the "hug" to the landlord. My family members had all done the same or similar. We had survived, but we certainly hadn't thrived. Our main goal, to send a child to school, had never been reached.  We would never be able to break the cycle of our poverty at the rate we were going.

After the simulation, we took a few minutes to debrief, and David shared with us ways in which we could help.  He didn't ask for money; that was NEVER a question today.  He shared with us ways that WE can TEACH OUR CHILDREN to be aware of this type of living environment so they can help stop it.  He showed us how we can inspire people, not just adults, to "engage with global issues to make a difference."  He explained that doing charity work is great, but that it must be "sustainable" help.  We must break the cycle of poverty.  Although this was just a "game" to us, a setting in which we could play "poor," it became something much larger today.  This was the intended purpose after all.

I can not begin to describe the emotions I felt in that gymnasium this afternoon.  I can use the words my colleagues shared to depict their feelings, but I don't think you'll truly understand unless you participate in something like this, or God forbid, ever live in an environment like the one that we imitated.   Downtrodden, heartbroken, unworthy, miserable, distressed...they're all words to portray how we felt today, but honestly, they don't even tip the iceberg of our emotions.

Please, please, do your research on Crossroads...use the simulation if you can, and begin to think globally.  I do believe we can make the world a better place...it's not just a dream; together, we can make it a reality.

A Sheet Show, Among Other Adventures

I've been in Dongguan just a little over a week now.  To be honest, I haven't seen or done much of anything as my first few days were getting settled in my apartment, and the rest of the week (Monday through Friday) was spent in Nansha at a conference for ELL teachers.  For those of you who don't know that acronym, ELL stands for English Language Learners.  There are many other acronyms used to describe that group of students, but it's the one I use most frequently. 

Every day this week, we left Sunshine (that's the name of the complex where I live) at 6:45 am.  We drove to a few other stops to get the rest of the ISD (International School of Dongguan) teachers before heading the hour out of town to Nansha.  There, we attended an 8-5 conference with Dr. Gini Rojas at the Nansha College Preparatory School.  

I really learned, and relearned, a lot this week.  My Masters is in teaching English as a foreign language, but at Stiles Point Elementary, I didn't ever have a group of ELL's, not even one actually, so I have been out of practice a good bit except for my traveling and teaching/volunteering in Europe.  We learned a whole lot of new strategies for working with ELL's, great ideas to use in the classroom. The conference was all part of the ISS WLI (International School Services World Language Initiative).  I really enjoyed it and will participate more as other conferences/courses are offered. For the week I just spent, I'll get a college credit to add towards my Masters + 30 and I'll probably, because I met Dr. Rojas and she evaluated my transcripts, be able to go ahead and get my New Jersey state license for ELL which is great, because NJ is one of very few states that offers life long certification.  In South Carolina, I'd have to continue getting recertification credits.  If I get the NJ one, I won't have to do that.  

So after all that, maybe you're wondering why I called this post "A Sheet Show..."  Well, as I mentioned, the only other thing I've been doing, outside of training, is getting my apartment set up.  I went last weekend to Metro (like Sams), Carrefour and Walmart (both similar), Ikea, All Good (a grocery store), and Share Food (a great specialty market with Western things).  I went back to Carrefour by myself at least three times this week trying to get certain things.  I also attempted to get back to All Good on my own, but that turned into a slight adventure as I took the wrong turn and ended up walking an hour when I should have been able to get there and back home in less time than that.  I just don't like to look lost, so if I'm comfortable in my surroundings, and I have some kind of idea where I am, I won't turn around even if I can't find exactly what I'm looking for.  I knew I was in the vicinity of the All Good, but I didn't want to "look" lost, so I kept on walking in the opposite direction, although I knew I wouldn't find All Good down there.  When I passed all the small stores in a very locals' area, I kept my head high, smiled, nodded, and trucked on.  I got a few giggles and a lot of stares, but I was fine. I was pouring sweat, but all was good.  Side note, I was in thick, white linen pants and a black low cut tank top with the brightest orange necklace you've ever seen in your life...that thing probably glows in the dark!  Keep that in mind when you consider it wasn't JUST my blonde hair at which they were looking.  I made my way to a corner I didn't recognize, but I knew it was a big intersection and I knew in which direction I needed to head to get back home, so I turned right and prayed I'd get where I needed to be.  Luckily, I soon came upon the Carrefour I've frequented so many times this week, so I went in and got a few items before heading home. By the time I got back to the apartment, I was exhausted and I was filthy dirty.  It was shower time for me before anything else.  Later, I made myself a little steak (I couldn't begin to tell you what cut of meet it was, but it said "Australian beef" so I felt pretty safe. ;)  I also made some sautéed green bell peppers.  Dinner was simple, but good. At the conference, every single day this week, they fed us fried rice and an assortment of carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers or grapes.  Some days we had teriyaki chicken skewers. Other days we had pork.  I just wanted something different and easy to make. 

You may still be wondering where "Sheet Show" comes in.  I suppose it's time to tell you.  On the Ikea trip last Saturday, I went ahead and bought a down comforter, duvet and pillows for the master bed.  I didn't care for the floral print on the one they gave me, so I measured my bed, which I knew was about a king, and decided I'd take the linens that were on my bed and put in the guest room, aka Katy's room.  That set matches better in there because there's a pale blue wall.  I wanted something white for my room. Clean, simple.  In Ikea last week, I actually said out loud, "I'm such a white person." As soon as I said it I laughed...I mean, really, in a store full of Asians, did I really think that appropriate?  I didn't mean it racially of course.  I MEANT, I like white.  I like clean.  Anyway, I bought the items based on the sizes I measured.  Can you believe I remembered to bring a measuring tape with me?  Actually, I didn't know I had it, but it was a small one I had in a purse that just happened to come with me.  It was one of the many little party favors I got from one of the many bridal showers I attended in the last two years.  It says "love beyond measure" on it.  I suppose I'm lucky I have it with me.

I wash my linens once a week, so I thought I'd push through the week with the colors I didn't care for, then when the weekend got here, I'd do the laundry and put on the new set.  Saturday morning, I opened the plastic with the duvet and shams to discover there was no fitted sheet.  In Europe, I thought I recalled the fitted sheet came in the pack.  I knew there would be no flat sheet because that's uncommon and there was none on my bed to start with, but for some reason, I really expected to see it in this packet.  "Ok," I thought, I'll just put this comforter in the duvet and set things up, then this afternoon I'll run down and get a sheet.  No problem, right?

Well it couldn't possibly be that easy.  The comforter goes in the duvet and the shams go on the pillows and I lie the thing on the bed just to see how it looks. Fantastic.  The thing's too small!  Are you kidding? I measured!  What could have gone wrong?  Who knows, but it'll have to do for now. I can't return the things, I don't think, and even if I could I'd already made the guest bed with the old set so I would have to make do, even if the stupid duvet doesn't cover the whole bed (see pics).  

That was only the first part of the "sheet show." The second part comes from my adventure, on my own, back to Carrefour.  I memorized how to say "Can you please help me" before leaving the apartment and I recited it to myself the whole way down..."Ni neng bang wo ma?" (No accents added as I can't figure out how to do them correctly on the computer.)  I took pictures of the mattress, the corner sheet, and the bed with measurements written on it.  I KNEW this would work. I'd be fine.  I'd figure it out.

I got to Carrefour and, just like in Walmart here, was instantly approached by four women who wanted to help me.  I didn't even have to ask with my practiced phrase, which sort of disappointed me.  I showed them the picture, they pulled out a whole set.  No, that's not what I need.  They pulled out at least three other sets asking me what I wanted (all in Chinese mind you).  I looked up the word for "only" and "white" in my phrase book and walked up and down the aisle.  I used my translator on my phone to help with some words.  I spent at least 20 minutes in Carrefour.  I couldn't find what I needed and the sweet girl trying to help (by this time the others had left me) gave me a set that I politely thanked her for, "xiexie," and walked away.  I felt really badly about it, but I went about five aisles down and sat the set under some clothes, then made my run for the exit.  I was willing to buy extra, but not the hideous print she gave me!!

Disappointed, but not defeated, I went on to the next store.  Walmart. This is not the one I'd been in, so I was a little lost at first because the Walmart and Carrefour stores here are inside malls.  You go in on the ground floor and usually take an escalator (the kind built like a ramp for buggies) up to first level of the supermarket.  That is usually for housewares, school supplies, clothes, etc.  The level above that tends to be the one for groceries. So, in Walmart I went to the linens aisle and browsed a little by myself.  No one approached me here, surprisingly, so I grabbed a package and walked to the girl down the row (it's nice because you don't have to search for help...someone is standing in every aisle).  I asked, "Ni neng bang wo ma?"  She looked at me, I showed her my pictures, she said "bu chi," which means no.  ARE YOU SERIOUS?!  Luckily, she walked me back to where I got the package and handed me another, which I don't think was any different, BUT, I bought it anyway and when I got home, said another prayer.  Please Lord let this thing fit.  I held my breath, pulled out the sheet, and voila, it fit!!

It was an ordeal to say the least, but all in all, I accomplished what I set out to do.  It's not the color I wanted (I ended up with light blue), but it is the right size.  I will have to plan a trip to Ikea to get the bigger duvet, but for now, what I have will have to do.  It was a "sheet show" after all, but it's all part of the learning process here.  It's been a great first week in China, and I'm proud of myself for how well I've adjusted.  

A Chinese Medical Exam...No Place for the Modest

Wow. That's about all I can say.  A Chinese medical exam is an interesting thing. I guess I knew it might be, but I hadn't really considered just how or why it would be so.

When I arrived on Thursday night and settled into my apartment, I was given a lot of information.  I know for a fact though that I was not reminded of how to prepare for the medical exam I'd have the following day.  I knew what time to get up and where to meet the others, but that was it.

As I mentioned in the "Settling in" post, I woke very early on Friday morning. By the time I went downstairs at 8 am, I'd already unpacked, showered, eaten breakfast, and napped!  Did you catch what I said I did before napping?  I ate breakfast...oops!  No one reminded me that I was supposed to fast!  You know what else I did?  I took two Aleive because I had a killer headache and cramps from a certain time of the month that started the day before...while flying...while wearing white pants (sorry for lady details).  Lucky for me there was no issue the day before, but I became awfully worried knowing there was food and medication in my system.

The new girls and I were driven to the health check place, not a hospital by any means and actually, I remember reading the sign and know it was for immigrants, but now I don't recall what the actual location was called.

We went inside and filled out some paperwork where the only question we were asked was whether or not we were pregnant.  We had our photo taken and then one by one went in different rooms. There were a total of six tests altogether.  My first stop was for x-rays.  I was told (or waved at) to enter the x-ray room, take off my shoes at the door, take off my bra in the "locker" and then to hold my breath. When I say "locker," I mean a small screened area.  Taking off my bra wasn't a big deal but having to put my dress back on bra-less was entertaining.  They don't offer gowns in this facility, which you'll see is a common reason for my confusion as the exam went on.

X-rays done and bra back on, I had to do the urine test. My friend Shu-Lin had arrived a few days before me and already done the exam, so she warned me to bring hand sanitizer and tissue as there would be none provided.  The "toilet" was a hole in the ground like I've seen in Italy. I did my thing, peeing in the tiny plastic "cup" which was more like the scoop you use to get sugar out of a jar.  I asked the girl who was there to help us to tell me if it would be a problem that I was on my period (again, sorry for details), but she said it was no big deal. After I washed my hands (there was a sink after all) and sorted out the urine situation, I was taken to a glass window where my blood would be drawn. I reached my arm under the partition.  One quick tie around the arm to get my veins to show, followed by one quick needle stick, and I was all set for my third test.

This one I thought was fun, but I think the poor woman who conducted the test thinks I'm either a) dumb as a doornail or b) blind as a bat. You see, the eye exam isn't the same as we have in the states.  As a matter of fact, there are no letters like we use. Now, I would have been in serious trouble if there were Chinese symbols on the chart, so I'm lucky in this way, but I still think the lady will be prescribing me glasses.  The chart is a series of w's, if you will. All the w's are facing left, right, up or down.  I didn't know what the letter/symbol was so as she pointed, I was like "backwards e, 3, upside down w!"  I felt like a complete idiot!! Every now and again I'd say, "Oh" as in "Oh that letter." I don't even want to know what she thought of me!

From the eye exam, which I'm sure I failed, I went to my first of two favorite exams.  I walked past another curtain, taking my shoes off as I did when entering any room.  I was told to lie down and pull my dress up.  Oh yeah, dresses on Chinese exam days are not the thing to wear.  Easy to maneuver, but not for the modest.  Actually, I've never really considered myself modest before Friday.  I have had massages all over the world where I have had no problem stripping down to my birthday suit and letting total strangers rub me down. This was a little different though, and disclaimer, since I wear thongs, it made it all the more interesting.

So I was lying on my back with my dress pulled up to my bra. The lady slathered jelly all over my stomach for an ultrasound, which I didn't know I was getting.  She checked out all my insides then told me to turn left.  "Left, left" she said several times, but I had no idea what she was saying or what she meant. When I figured it out, I rolled left, but this left the poor woman with my white behind in her face!  Daggum fannyless panties!!  "Right" she said, and I turned right so she had the opportunity to check both my sides.  When all finished, she gave me two, TWO, tissues to wipe off all the goo, and I was sent on my way.

Giggling, I headed out and sat to wait on my final exam. Oh, this one got even better!  When called, I went into the last room where there was a table with 6 long wires attached to clips all hooked onto the bed. This exam was for my EKG, but I didn't know this going in. I was told once again to lie down and pull up my dress, but this time I had to pull up my bra too.  So there I was, with barely any panties on and my dress and bra up to my neck.  The exam lady snapped two clips to my ankles, put two on my stomach, and clipped two under my breasts. I didn't see the actual attachment to my breasts, but it felt like she'd put pinchers on me so I kept thinking it was checking the fat!  I had already had a moment with the ultrasound where I, in my head, heard the Chinese guy in "The Hangover" say of Zack Galifianakas' character, "It's funny because he fat!" *See clip.  Trying not to laugh or squirm out of pain, I let her do her thing, and when finished went back to the waiting room.

We were soon all done with our exams and headed out for the rest of our first day in China adventures, about which I've already written.  What I haven't yet shared is what I noticed when I got home that evening.  First off, when I went to shower and took my dress off at the end of the day, I noticed about three tiny pieces of tissue stuck to my stomach!  Hilarious.  Then, I noticed a mark under one breast which I came to conclude was from the EKG...they weren't clips on my breasts, they were suction cups! Ouch!  Yeah, I was left with a nice round bruise.

All in all, the tests weren't too invasive, and I did get some comic relief out of them.  I'm now just waiting on the results which I'm sure will tell me I'm obese, blind and in serious need of medical attention.  In America I'm fine, but in China, who knows!!

Settling In...

I've made it to China and am settling in quite nicely!  It's been a fantastic journey so far.  I am happy to report that the flights over to China (all three of them) were quite easy.  I had a lovely friend help me on the final leg by placing me in another seat...one that was situated at the window on an exit row.  I got plenty of leg room, and luckily, there was no one next to me so I was able to maneuver myself in different positions to get a decent amount of sleep. I was also able to watch 4 movies on that flight from Vancouver to Hong Kong, but I'll tell you I didn't feel like it was all that long.  I had only done up to 9 hours on a plane before this journey, a total of 13 hours from Canada to China, but it wasn't bad.  I drank water throughout the flights (only water the whole time), and took no meds (it's funny because I had planned on taking a muscle relaxer, but I packed them in my checked luggage!!) and I was perfectly fine.  I walked to the bathroom at the back of the plane, even though there was a toilet near my seat, to get a little exercise. I think I did this 4 times total.  I stood in the space in front of my seat as often as possible and stretched my legs and back.  I tried to move my feet often, circling my ankles, while I was seated. I took my make-up off with one of those face wipes and brushed my teeth twice to try and keep myself feeling fresh. It worked pretty well.

I arrived in Hong Kong with a slight battle of the nerves at the thought of being in completely unfamiliar territory and wondering if I'd make it through Customs and Immigration ok and then whether or not I'd be able to manage all of my luggage on my own, but I have to tell you it was a breeze. The airport was really calm, to my complete surprise. I didn't have to wait in any line, I wasn't asked any questions, and because a new colleague of mine had told me to go through the "nothing to declare" passage, I was out of there in no time.  I went to the baggage claim area where I grabbed two baggage carts and, per the instructions of that same colleague, pulled out my duck tape and taped the break of each cart down so they'd be easy to push.  I loaded all five of my checked bags along with my two carry-ons onto the carts and put one in front of the other to push (this made me extend my arms rather far and stick my behind out, but hey, it worked).  I managed to get to Nic, the person holding the "International School of Dongguan" sign, and he helped me to the driver.  Nic didn't come with me to Dongguan because he had others to collect from the airport, so the driver and I headed out on our own. We drove about 2 hours, not too bad, towards my new "hometown."  We had to stop once on the way for immigration from Hong Kong to Dongguan, but this was much simpler than I had imagined too.  Based on what I'd been told, I was under the impression I would have to get out of the car, take my luggage, and go through immigration on my own. This was not the case at all. The driver simply gave me a form, pulled up to a booth much like a toll, used his arm to reach back and open the door so the immigration officer could see my face, then popped the back door so they could see my luggage.  Boom, done, and we were on our way.

We arrived in Dongguan and I was again shocked to see it wasn't overly crowded.  Don't get me wrong, it's a big city for sure, but it's not like there were so many people out you couldn't move through the streets.  We pulled up to my apartment complex and Michael, my new boss, Mrs. May, the school's head "housekeeper"/auntie to all, along with two other Chinese men (Mr. Bill and Mr. Xin) helped me get all of my luggage up to my apartment on the 11th floor.  I walked in, threw my hands to my cheeks, and almost cried.  It was beautiful, and I immediately felt at home.

That night I tried to stay up as late as possible to ward off the jet lag, and also because I'm rather OCD at times, I unpacked my suitcases.  I put away everything I could without hangers to hang clothes... I brought A LOT of them.  I finally went to sleep between 11 and 12, but the next morning, I woke up at 3:30 anyways.  I got up, unpacked more, and fell back asleep at 4:45. I got up the second time at 7 and decided to get up and get ready. I didn't have internet yet (no wifi for FaceTime), so I prepared for the day.  We were picked up (and by we I mean the other new teachers from nearby buildings) at 8 to go to our medical exams.  This was an event for sure and deserves its own post, so see the next blog for a good laugh regarding that experience!  After our exams, we went to the school for a tour and once again, I was overwhelmed with joy and excitement.  The school is amazing and I can't wait to get my classroom set up and begin working with the students.  I walked in and right away felt that moving back to a public school classroom was not in my future...more about this at another time.

We left the school after our tour and brief orientation and went to a Thai restaurant where Michael treated us to several wonderful dishes...spicy, but delicious.  After lunch, we were all taken to Metro, a Sams/Costco type club, where were could begin purchasing things to help us settle in.  The school provided each of us with 500 US dollars worth of RMB, but after two days, mine was all gone!  ;)

The Metro trip was a good start for shopping and a good end to the day.  After waking so early,  I was beat, as were most of the teachers who had arrived the day before. We went back to our apartments, I unpacked the few items I'd bought (hangers being one of them), and returned to the task of putting clothes away.  After speaking with family finally (the tech guy set up my wifi the night before), I got myself ready for shopping day two.  We took our coach (our school bus which happens to be a huge 45 seater chartered bus) to Ikea in Shenzen, an hour or so away. We were given 4 hours to shop.  I kid you not, we used almost all four.  We ate lunch in Ikea on our 35 RMB allowance and I only spent 20 of this on a bottle of water and a huge plate of rice and tofu stir fry.  20 RMB is less than $4!!

I bought a huge buggy full of items at Ikea to make me feel more at home.  My purchases included four dinner plates, four salad plates, four pasta bowls, four small bowls, silverware and an organizer for the drawer, a dish rack and a sink cover (hard to explain but it folds out to make the top of your sink a shelf of shorts to help veggies to dry after washing, but I bought it for the bathroom sink and the pic attached explains why), a pasta pot, a smaller saucepan, a frying pan, some utensils for cooking, a duvet, pillows and comforter for the master room, two rugs for the master, a laundry basket, and some cute starfish and fish shaped ice trays.  I think that's it besides one placemat of sorts for the table to be placed as a centerpiece.  I spent over $400, but was very happy with my purchases.

After Ikea we went back to town and unloaded all of our belongings.  It took several of to help each other get everything we had purchased up to our apartments.  After we'd all unloaded though, we took an hour or so break before having to head out to Michael (our boss)'s house for Papa Johns and drinks. He treated all of us.

By 8 o'clock or so I was beat, so we headed back home shortly after.  When I got home, I made sure to finish unpacking all the Ikea buys and washing and putting them away.  I just hate when things sit out and aren't in their respective places.

This morning I woke at 5 and got up early to begin this blog. I thought I better make use of the time and let you all know what's going on. After that I piddled around a bit then Facetimed with Katy, whom I'm trying to get to come visit soon. At 10, I met some girls an Niki, our shopping guru, so we could all get groceries, etc.  We went to All Good, an amazing store and possibly one of my favorites here, then the market underneath where we saw some truly interesting things.  After this, we went to Share Foods, a perfect little Western market with all things European and American...my kind of shop.  We had lunch at a noodle shop nearby then went on to WalMart, what a trip, and by the time we finished there were were all shopped out, or so we thought.  We had so many bags we took the car back and thought that might need to be it.  We wanted to drive to a nearby park though to check that out so we went over quickly and walked around for 20 minutes or so, but it was so hot, we decided to go on home.  We unloaded all of our things back at our apartments and Niki went on home, but a few of us wanted to go to Carrefour so we took a short break before heading back out.  I was completely drenched with sweat, sorry but it's true, so I literally took off my shirt and sat in the cool of the apartment for a few minutes. There was not point in showering and going back out, so I let the shirt dry, gross, I know, and then headed back downstairs to meet the girls.  Erin and Josmary, who live in the building near me, walked with me to Carrefour to meet Shu Lin, who lives just above the store.

I think Carrefour was even worse than WalMart with crazy crowds, but I was able to really stock up on pasta and such. I was super happy.  I had been a little stressed about money as I only exchanged $250 worth of US currency before coming over and my debit card was declined at 3 different ATM's, but the one outside of good old WalMart worked, so I was able to get much more cash.  Now I'm feeling really comfortable about where to get foods, and I mean a lot of them.

After Carrefour, the four of us said we'd get pedicures but two girls got super tired so Shu Lin and I took my things up to the apartment and then headed back out to find a nearby salon.  About two hours later our toes were painted and our heels were softened.  I have decided I may get pedis every other week or more as it only cost us $11 and the pedicure lasted over an hour!

Now I'm exhausted and filthy, so I think it's time for my second daily shower.  Then it's bed time for this chic as we have our first day of training tomorrow.

Life is good, I'm settling in well, and I'm excited for what lies ahead!!