I use that hashtag often enough when I post to Instagram...I use it when I feel the Lord speaking to me, reminding me of His presence and unwavering love.
Upon arrival in Boracay, I was almost instantly in that "feeling blessed" mode. The water was crystal blue, the sounds of the ocean poured through the windows at my gorgeous hilltop villa, the people were unbelievably friendly, and I saw and felt God's presence in so many ways. From the small churches scattered along the overcrowded streets, to the not so hidden message of "God is Love" painted on the first trike I took, I knew God was at work in the Philippines. Over the course of the week I spent there, I saw more people in Christian t-shirts than I've seen in any other part of the world. When asking for the wifi password at a beach front bar, the lady said it was "God bless you," and made sure to remind my friend and me that it was spelled with a capital G. I cried....seriously. After living in a country where He is not the main focus of many people's lives, I truly felt blessed to be visiting the Philippines where I could see Him "doing His thing."
It's hard for me to travel because I always judge how hospitable people are. Coming from Charleston, I suppose I expect all cities to be friendly and welcoming, but unfortunately I have found that they are not. I was pleasantly surprised with the kindness that I encountered in the Philippines. Everyone, I mean everyone, spoke, "Good morning ma'am." People offered to help carry our bags, to escort us, to take us around the island. Granted, some of this may have been solely for the tips, but still, you could feel their warmth and genuineness. I've been to many places where this is not common and it always turns me off of a place when the people are not welcoming.
On Thursday afternoon after a day at the beach and too much sun, my friend and I thought we would go sit at a beach front restaurant and have a snack. We opted for a place I'd read about on Trip Advisor...Epic. It was a really beautiful space in that it was very clean and open. A lot of what you find on the island of Boracay is older and often quite run down. Don't get me wrong, there are nice places too, but the contrast between the spaces is overwhelmingly drastic.
Epic is a restaurant/bar that, to my understanding, gets a little night club-y after hours. For our afternoon visit, it was calm and family friendly.
We ordered a plate of nachos and a few bottles of water before later I requested a beer. We ate and relaxed, people watching, for a good hour or more. It was after eating when I had just received my beer that an older gentleman stumbled across our path. He stopped in front of our table but didn't speak, rather he just pointed to his foot. I could see that it was bleeding. Not sure what to do, I froze momentarily. My empathic vibes started working overtime and I began to cry as he walked away. You may think I'm crazy, but his soul was calling out to me, begging me for help.
I could take it no longer so I reached for some napkins and my bag of wet wipes and headed over to where he'd fallen. He was next to a beach chair about 10 yards away. I walked over to him and asked what was wrong. I spoke to him almost as if he were a child, lovingly and with patience as he wasn't really speaking back. After a few moments of me trying to encourage him to clean his foot with the wipes (I've had too many blood born pathogens classes to have done it myself without gloves), I asked if he'd eaten today. He said no and so I gave him a little money, what equals a dollar or so...pathetic. Then I walked away, but he continued to pull at my heart strings.
When I returned to the table, I no longer wanted my beer. I sat there a few moments and was amazed to see the staff from the restaurant gather a first aid kit and a pitcher of water. They went over the the man and cleaned and bandaged his foot for him. As they did so, a crowd gathered around. This made me angry...he was not a spectacle at which to be stared. I prayed and prayed for him and just couldn't let go.
When the staff came back and the man was left resting on the the lounge chair, I asked if they would prepare a meal for him. The hostess first said if she did, that he'd just ask for money or something more. I told her that during the few minutes he and I spoke, he never asked for anything from me. She seemed to change her heart and she shared with me that he had been abandoned by his family, Koreans, she thought. They had all come to the Philippines together but apparently they left him alone when they relocated. My heart sank even further.
As the man, who only could share with me his name to be "La," had only one tooth, ordering food was not the easiest task, but the hostess helped me choose a rice dish that is liked by the locals. I ordered him a bottle of water as well. When it was all prepared, I took the food to him and patted him on the shoulder telling him to take care of his foot. "Salamat" he repeated, "thank you." My heart was overflowing with worry for him. I wanted to take him home with me, to offer him more. I wanted to speak with him about God's love but for whatever reason, whether it be my own fear, Satan's interference, or something else, I didn't. I have prayed for him every day since I met him and I am sitting here this morning writing and crying, as usual, over the blessing that came to me on a beach in Boracay. If you are reading this, please lift up the man I know as "La" and ask that he, if he doesn't already know the Lord, cross paths with someone else who will be braver than I. Please remember him in your prayers and while you're at it, remember all of the island of Boracay as it was a truly awesome thing to feel God's presence there.
Friday, October 2, 2015
Sunday, September 13, 2015
I Put My Hope in His Holy Word
It has been a long road living here in China and trying to figure out if I have a place to worship the Lord as well as a place to congregate with other Christians. I have repeatedly visited a church in Dongguan and a church in Hong Kong. I attempted a bible study with colleagues, but it only lasted 4-6 months before fading away. I have done my devotional pretty much every day that I've been in China, but I struggle because I don't feel at home here and although my relationship with the Lord is fine, I don't know if I'm spiritually growing. I was so pleased this year when new colleagues joined the team at ISD and I saw them at church one Sunday. The next week my new boss was there, although I didn't see him, and when I asked him about it later he told me his father actually wanted him to be a pastor. It was nice, so nice, to have more Christians join me in Dongguan.
As I believe I mentioned once before, my pastor at First Baptist in Charleston suggested to me that I attend a church here, even if it wasn't the kind of service I was used to. He pretty much said attend for the sake of attending...because God will work in mysterious ways and if I'm listening to Him, I will hear His message. On a regular basis, I have to pray that the Lord will let me release my "issues" with the church where I go here. I pray that Satan won't try to fool me into thinking I'm not meant to be there. I pray that I'll be blessed by the word of God. Even though the service is unusual, in my opinion, and even though the music is much more contemporary than I'm used to on a Sunday morning, I can still be blessed. I find that I am blessed in different ways when I attend the services at Trinity Bible Fellowship.
This morning, I said my usual pepping myself up prayers and then I sat for ten minutes or so before the service started. I'm not greeted by too many at the church, which bothers me a little, but I'm also a bit of an introvert in ways and so although I smile and nod, say good morning, etc., I don't go out of my way to speak to others either. When the service began, the praise band started up the music with another song with which I'm not familiar, but luckily the words are always on the screens and the musicians are very good at leading us. In particular, there is a guy, whose name I just learned today is Josh, who leads on the bongos and does most of the prayer at the start of the services. I could feel the spirit moving me this morning and I could see it moving in Josh as well. He and the other lead singer often close their eyes and raise their arms, and although this is not my way, it's often nice to see them sing their praises. During our last beginning worship song, Josh was crying quite heavily and he asked us to sing the chorus over and over. When it ended, he was red in the face and very tear stained. He and the rest of the band took a seat in the audience and then the pastor went up for announcements. This is when things took a turn for the worse.
Out of nowhere, I heard a loud "clunk." Then I heard a woman scream. That was followed by a shrill hysterical child-like cry. I heard another scream, "Don't touch him, don't touch him." I had no idea what was happening. I turned to the lady on my left and said, "Are there any members here who are medical?" She answered with a confused "I don't know." The pastor sat on stage and many members sitting around the "accident" jumped up and crowded around, then the drummer stood and tried to get people to back away. The guitar player raced over, but I still couldn't see what was happening. At first, I thought it must be a child that had fallen off the chair and perhaps busted his nose. Then, the pastor finally made a comment that made me think otherwise. "He's not been feeling well." After this, I thought it must be an elderly person who passed out, or worse, died.
The children were led out of the congregation so they could go to their Sunday school classes, but more to just get them away from the commotion. I felt as if we should all relocate, but I sat frozen.
I heard a Chinese woman ask if she should call for emergency assistance. I couldn't believe no one had done so yet. The first screaming Chinese woman was hysterically repeating, "You're not holy, you're not holy." I could hear the swooshing of people blocking her swinging arms. I could hear her trying to fight them off, but I couldn't see anything. I didn't want to stare or look around uncomfortably, so I kept my head bowed.
I did look up for a moment, and I saw a group of people gathered around the fallen person and then another group crowded around the lady that was screaming. I heard someone call out, "Please pray, just pray." I bowed my head again and did just that. I cried, and cried, and prayed. I prayed for the screaming woman to be calmed. I prayed for the person, whom I still hadn't identified, that was lying on the ground. I prayed for our spirits, those in the congregation, to be free of worry.
The pastor made a joke, "He's just not gotten enough attention lately." I'm sure he was trying to break the ice, to help alleviate the pain and confusion we were all feeling. I wasn't offended, but I didn't like the comment.
The chaos lasted close to ten minutes in my mind; perhaps it was less. The screaming woman was finally escorted outside and then a group of people who'd been crowded around the fallen person got up to walk out. I noticed the bongo player at this point. He looked completely disheveled. I assumed it was he who had fallen, perhaps passed out due to exhaustion or whatever, but I wasn't sure.
During the time of the confusion, the pastor on stage said nothing much. He was mysteriously quiet. He finally led us in prayer, but was not directly praying for what just happened. It was, I felt, very suspicious...like if we don't mention it happened then maybe it didn't actually happen.
Then the person who preaches the sermons each week came on stage. Of course I'm sure he was shaken, but he seemed calm. He led us in prayer and asked the Lord to calm our spirits so we could hear God's word, but he said nothing specific about what had just ensued. He didn't mention the person's name or anything...didn't pray for him specifically, but instead led us in the planned sermon from 1st John. I thought for sure this would have been a "teachable moment" where the plans were thrown out the window and the more important topic of how to react in crisis when you're a Christian would have been discussed.
To be honest, I have no idea what he preached about for the next hour. I have a 45 minute audio recording I made today so I could go back and listen to it later. I was so distraught. On the one hand, I was worried about the bongo player, but on the other hand, I was strangely distracted and worried about the screaming Chinese woman. What was her connection, after all? Why was she so upset?
At the end of the sermon, the praise band came back on and after they sang, there was a prayer which finally mentioned Josh. They said he was ok, but explained nothing. I was still completely in shock. For the past 45 minutes or more I'd been sitting there, crying, trying not to vomit. I take in other people's emotions like a sponge soaks in water. When others feel scared, I feel scared. When others worry, I worry. It literally made me sick and there were several moments when I thought I'd have to excuse myself. I just kept praying and trying to calm my nerves. I wanted to stay to hear what happened, to understand what the crying and screaming was all about. I was less worried about Josh, and that means nothing about me not caring about him, but the hysterics were completely absurd to me, and that puzzled me. I just couldn't wrap my mind around it.
After I left church, I hailed a cab and called my mom. It was after midnight her time, but she was awake. In the back of the taxi, I cried the whole way home, speaking on the phone with her and trying to explain what happened, but not understanding it myself. Then I emailed my Pastor in Charleston. Still not being able to let it go, I emailed the church here in Dongguan.
"Good morning. I’m not sure who exactly receives these emails, but I felt I should write in hopes of contacting someone who could help ease my mind about Josh’s episode today. I am not a regular at TBF, but I have attended many times. I don’t know Josh personally, but I’m there often and do appreciate and enjoy the praise band and his part in it.
I am not trying to pry in any way, shape or form, but I am wondering if Josh’s condition is something that was caused simply because of his current health (the pastor mentioned something about him not feeling well recently). My asking is simply to know if he is ok or if he requires ongoing prayer for something specific.
More on my heart this morning, actually, is how the situation was handled, and what took place in the congregation when the Chinese children and women were screaming and crying. I heard someone say several times, “You’re not holy, you’re not holy,” and that frightened me. I didn’t know it was Josh on the floor at first. I thought it was a child, the way that little one was screaming. Then I thought it must be an elderly person.
Again, I’m not trying to put my nose in where it doesn’t belong, but my heart is heavy. I don’t understand why we as a congregation didn’t get led in prayer immediately. I don’t understand why the lady was so hysterical and why she wasn’t escorted outside sooner. I don’t understand why people were screaming in such horror. Is that a cultural thing? The Westerners seemed to be more calm…upset, but calm. I was praying silently, and crying, but I’m in shock honestly and I’m not sure with whom I can discuss it. I called my mother and spoke to her at midnight her time as I was in the taxi leaving. I’ve emailed my home pastor. I’m just so knotted up inside and I do pray for God to ease my worries, but more to ease the rest of the congregation as I’m sure they are also quite concerned. I would love if someone could write me back, and I’m in no hurry, but I would appreciate at least a word to let me know Josh is ok and the lady who was so distraught is also now calm.
Thank you.
Blessings, Hannah"
After I emailed, I sat down to write this blog, but something made me pause. I wrote a little, then I went out for groceries. I thought it was such a "nice" day for China, so when I unloaded and put away all of my purchased goods, I decided to go to the pool to just relax...to process. As soon as I got to the pool, I got a WeChat message from a person with whom I had been put in contact a few months ago. She's a fellow College of Charleston grad. She explained in her message that her husband was the pastor who preached the sermon today, and she asked if she could meet me at the pool to explain what happened. I told her of course, so she arrived just a few minutes after I did.
We introduced ourselves formally, apologizing that we were meeting under such circumstances. We sat an hour or so talking. She opened my eyes to many things I did not know about the church. For example, the lead pastor and his wife serve and it's their adult children who compose most of the praise band, two sons and a daughter. I was also informed that all of the screaming and hysterics this morning came from one woman, someone with known mental issues. Those two bits of information explained a lot. Although I still don't agree with the way things were or weren't handled this morning, and although I'm still quite disturbed by the whole occurrence, I can't judge anyone because we all react differently in times of crisis. I also can't judge because, well you know, it's not my place. I'm glad, however, that I waited to write the blog, because now I feel I have a better understanding of the situation.
I can't say I've ever experienced anything quite like this morning nor do I ever want to again. It was less the emergency of Josh passing out and more the emergency of handling the hysterical woman, but the confusion was terrifying. I am feeling much better to have had some of it explained to me, and I'm pleased to have had a conversation with a like minded Christian who happens to be a fellow South Carolinian, but I don't know where to go from here to be honest. I have so many questions that arise here in China and for me, all I can say is, "I put my hope in His holy word," and hope that the Lord will see me through.
*Josh is apparently fine. He has been sick and had not eaten or had any liquids prior to his performance on stage this morning. It is my understanding that he is at home resting with his wife and children. I haven't heard about the mentally ill woman other than she was removed this morning and perhaps will no longer be allowed to participate in worship services. I ask for prayers for both of these people.
As I believe I mentioned once before, my pastor at First Baptist in Charleston suggested to me that I attend a church here, even if it wasn't the kind of service I was used to. He pretty much said attend for the sake of attending...because God will work in mysterious ways and if I'm listening to Him, I will hear His message. On a regular basis, I have to pray that the Lord will let me release my "issues" with the church where I go here. I pray that Satan won't try to fool me into thinking I'm not meant to be there. I pray that I'll be blessed by the word of God. Even though the service is unusual, in my opinion, and even though the music is much more contemporary than I'm used to on a Sunday morning, I can still be blessed. I find that I am blessed in different ways when I attend the services at Trinity Bible Fellowship.
This morning, I said my usual pepping myself up prayers and then I sat for ten minutes or so before the service started. I'm not greeted by too many at the church, which bothers me a little, but I'm also a bit of an introvert in ways and so although I smile and nod, say good morning, etc., I don't go out of my way to speak to others either. When the service began, the praise band started up the music with another song with which I'm not familiar, but luckily the words are always on the screens and the musicians are very good at leading us. In particular, there is a guy, whose name I just learned today is Josh, who leads on the bongos and does most of the prayer at the start of the services. I could feel the spirit moving me this morning and I could see it moving in Josh as well. He and the other lead singer often close their eyes and raise their arms, and although this is not my way, it's often nice to see them sing their praises. During our last beginning worship song, Josh was crying quite heavily and he asked us to sing the chorus over and over. When it ended, he was red in the face and very tear stained. He and the rest of the band took a seat in the audience and then the pastor went up for announcements. This is when things took a turn for the worse.
Out of nowhere, I heard a loud "clunk." Then I heard a woman scream. That was followed by a shrill hysterical child-like cry. I heard another scream, "Don't touch him, don't touch him." I had no idea what was happening. I turned to the lady on my left and said, "Are there any members here who are medical?" She answered with a confused "I don't know." The pastor sat on stage and many members sitting around the "accident" jumped up and crowded around, then the drummer stood and tried to get people to back away. The guitar player raced over, but I still couldn't see what was happening. At first, I thought it must be a child that had fallen off the chair and perhaps busted his nose. Then, the pastor finally made a comment that made me think otherwise. "He's not been feeling well." After this, I thought it must be an elderly person who passed out, or worse, died.
The children were led out of the congregation so they could go to their Sunday school classes, but more to just get them away from the commotion. I felt as if we should all relocate, but I sat frozen.
I heard a Chinese woman ask if she should call for emergency assistance. I couldn't believe no one had done so yet. The first screaming Chinese woman was hysterically repeating, "You're not holy, you're not holy." I could hear the swooshing of people blocking her swinging arms. I could hear her trying to fight them off, but I couldn't see anything. I didn't want to stare or look around uncomfortably, so I kept my head bowed.
I did look up for a moment, and I saw a group of people gathered around the fallen person and then another group crowded around the lady that was screaming. I heard someone call out, "Please pray, just pray." I bowed my head again and did just that. I cried, and cried, and prayed. I prayed for the screaming woman to be calmed. I prayed for the person, whom I still hadn't identified, that was lying on the ground. I prayed for our spirits, those in the congregation, to be free of worry.
The pastor made a joke, "He's just not gotten enough attention lately." I'm sure he was trying to break the ice, to help alleviate the pain and confusion we were all feeling. I wasn't offended, but I didn't like the comment.
The chaos lasted close to ten minutes in my mind; perhaps it was less. The screaming woman was finally escorted outside and then a group of people who'd been crowded around the fallen person got up to walk out. I noticed the bongo player at this point. He looked completely disheveled. I assumed it was he who had fallen, perhaps passed out due to exhaustion or whatever, but I wasn't sure.
During the time of the confusion, the pastor on stage said nothing much. He was mysteriously quiet. He finally led us in prayer, but was not directly praying for what just happened. It was, I felt, very suspicious...like if we don't mention it happened then maybe it didn't actually happen.
Then the person who preaches the sermons each week came on stage. Of course I'm sure he was shaken, but he seemed calm. He led us in prayer and asked the Lord to calm our spirits so we could hear God's word, but he said nothing specific about what had just ensued. He didn't mention the person's name or anything...didn't pray for him specifically, but instead led us in the planned sermon from 1st John. I thought for sure this would have been a "teachable moment" where the plans were thrown out the window and the more important topic of how to react in crisis when you're a Christian would have been discussed.
To be honest, I have no idea what he preached about for the next hour. I have a 45 minute audio recording I made today so I could go back and listen to it later. I was so distraught. On the one hand, I was worried about the bongo player, but on the other hand, I was strangely distracted and worried about the screaming Chinese woman. What was her connection, after all? Why was she so upset?
At the end of the sermon, the praise band came back on and after they sang, there was a prayer which finally mentioned Josh. They said he was ok, but explained nothing. I was still completely in shock. For the past 45 minutes or more I'd been sitting there, crying, trying not to vomit. I take in other people's emotions like a sponge soaks in water. When others feel scared, I feel scared. When others worry, I worry. It literally made me sick and there were several moments when I thought I'd have to excuse myself. I just kept praying and trying to calm my nerves. I wanted to stay to hear what happened, to understand what the crying and screaming was all about. I was less worried about Josh, and that means nothing about me not caring about him, but the hysterics were completely absurd to me, and that puzzled me. I just couldn't wrap my mind around it.
After I left church, I hailed a cab and called my mom. It was after midnight her time, but she was awake. In the back of the taxi, I cried the whole way home, speaking on the phone with her and trying to explain what happened, but not understanding it myself. Then I emailed my Pastor in Charleston. Still not being able to let it go, I emailed the church here in Dongguan.
"Good morning. I’m not sure who exactly receives these emails, but I felt I should write in hopes of contacting someone who could help ease my mind about Josh’s episode today. I am not a regular at TBF, but I have attended many times. I don’t know Josh personally, but I’m there often and do appreciate and enjoy the praise band and his part in it.
I am not trying to pry in any way, shape or form, but I am wondering if Josh’s condition is something that was caused simply because of his current health (the pastor mentioned something about him not feeling well recently). My asking is simply to know if he is ok or if he requires ongoing prayer for something specific.
More on my heart this morning, actually, is how the situation was handled, and what took place in the congregation when the Chinese children and women were screaming and crying. I heard someone say several times, “You’re not holy, you’re not holy,” and that frightened me. I didn’t know it was Josh on the floor at first. I thought it was a child, the way that little one was screaming. Then I thought it must be an elderly person.
Again, I’m not trying to put my nose in where it doesn’t belong, but my heart is heavy. I don’t understand why we as a congregation didn’t get led in prayer immediately. I don’t understand why the lady was so hysterical and why she wasn’t escorted outside sooner. I don’t understand why people were screaming in such horror. Is that a cultural thing? The Westerners seemed to be more calm…upset, but calm. I was praying silently, and crying, but I’m in shock honestly and I’m not sure with whom I can discuss it. I called my mother and spoke to her at midnight her time as I was in the taxi leaving. I’ve emailed my home pastor. I’m just so knotted up inside and I do pray for God to ease my worries, but more to ease the rest of the congregation as I’m sure they are also quite concerned. I would love if someone could write me back, and I’m in no hurry, but I would appreciate at least a word to let me know Josh is ok and the lady who was so distraught is also now calm.
Thank you.
Blessings, Hannah"
After I emailed, I sat down to write this blog, but something made me pause. I wrote a little, then I went out for groceries. I thought it was such a "nice" day for China, so when I unloaded and put away all of my purchased goods, I decided to go to the pool to just relax...to process. As soon as I got to the pool, I got a WeChat message from a person with whom I had been put in contact a few months ago. She's a fellow College of Charleston grad. She explained in her message that her husband was the pastor who preached the sermon today, and she asked if she could meet me at the pool to explain what happened. I told her of course, so she arrived just a few minutes after I did.
We introduced ourselves formally, apologizing that we were meeting under such circumstances. We sat an hour or so talking. She opened my eyes to many things I did not know about the church. For example, the lead pastor and his wife serve and it's their adult children who compose most of the praise band, two sons and a daughter. I was also informed that all of the screaming and hysterics this morning came from one woman, someone with known mental issues. Those two bits of information explained a lot. Although I still don't agree with the way things were or weren't handled this morning, and although I'm still quite disturbed by the whole occurrence, I can't judge anyone because we all react differently in times of crisis. I also can't judge because, well you know, it's not my place. I'm glad, however, that I waited to write the blog, because now I feel I have a better understanding of the situation.
I can't say I've ever experienced anything quite like this morning nor do I ever want to again. It was less the emergency of Josh passing out and more the emergency of handling the hysterical woman, but the confusion was terrifying. I am feeling much better to have had some of it explained to me, and I'm pleased to have had a conversation with a like minded Christian who happens to be a fellow South Carolinian, but I don't know where to go from here to be honest. I have so many questions that arise here in China and for me, all I can say is, "I put my hope in His holy word," and hope that the Lord will see me through.
*Josh is apparently fine. He has been sick and had not eaten or had any liquids prior to his performance on stage this morning. It is my understanding that he is at home resting with his wife and children. I haven't heard about the mentally ill woman other than she was removed this morning and perhaps will no longer be allowed to participate in worship services. I ask for prayers for both of these people.
Sunday, August 23, 2015
This Is My Life
It's been about two weeks since I've been back in China. Last weekend, while at a back to school BBQ bash hosted by the local Mexican restaurant, El Caliente, I had a moment of, "I feel at home here...this is my town." I said it out loud and as the week has progressed, I've reverberated it. I finally feel like this place is my home. It's funny because Charleston is absolutely my town, and Dublin is absolutely my town...no where in my mind did I ever feel like Dongguan would be my town, but in a way, it sort of is now.
In church this morning, yes, I'm now trying to regularly attend the worship service here at the local Christian school, the visiting pastor from Gainesville, GA said, "It's when we come back to life as we know it that we set things in motion." He was talking about how we may have good intentions during our holidays to set more time to devotionals, to study God's word more, to read books in general, whatever, but it's actually more difficult during those times to accomplish what we plan. It's easier when we are in life as we know it, and well, China is what I know right now. It's when I'm here that I do my daily devotional. It's here where I talk with God more; I rely on Him more. It was the same way in Ireland and Italy. It's because in those places, despite how many amazing people I met or things I got to do, I was really on my own and needed God's guidance more than ever. It's the same way here. I feel better as a Christian when I'm away from my life in Charleston, and that's really hard to explain or even myself understand, yet alone admit, but I think it says a lot about my calling in life right now.
This morning, a young girl who I happened to recognize from that Mexican restaurant (she's a waitress there), took to the pulpit to give her testimony about a trip she took to Hungary this summer. While visiting a refugee camp, she came to see her purpose for living in Dongguan. I don't know her story or what brought her to China, but I came to tears listening to her speak this morning because a) God's light shone through her more clearly than I've seen in anyone in an long time and b) she made a point to challenge all of us living in Dongguan to see our home, here in China, as a mission field. You know it's funny because when I was back home in Charleston my mom said to me that her friends suggested I go into missions. For several reasons my mother and I both feel that's not the best place for me, but I've said for the last year that really and truly, I am a missionary in ways because it's here in a place that not so many know the Lord, I can share my love for Him and His love through me.
The last week, although challenging as my new students came to school, was amazing. I am so unbelievably happy with the new administration and things that are happening at ISD. I am even happier to see there are more Christians on campus (praise be to God). I am happy to have settled back into life here. I am happy that yesterday I woke and planned an amazing vacation to the Philippines where I will lie on a beach in paradise for a week at the end of September. I'm happy that in the afternoon I attended a soccer tournament (who'd of thought) where I met two legit Irish people, Dubliner's at that. They will have to excuse me because I sort of want to be the third wheel on every one of their dates from now on just so I can hear their fab accents. I half pity and half envy their ESL students. I am happy that even though I just walked a mile to get groceries in the heat and then walked a mile back in the scorching sun carrying an extra 13 kg of weight (yes I hopped on the scale after returning) that I'm now sufficiently cooled and sitting in my apartment, which you know I love. By the way, never again will you be able to complain to me for having to jump in your SUV and drive your 10-20 minutes to Whole Foods to get groceries...hear me when I say, I take no pity on you anymore. I'm happy that today I finally got cable installed and now I can watch the BBC, History channel or whatever else till my heart's content...even with Chinese subtitles, I'm happy, and yes, I see a couch potato in the making. I am happy that tomorrow I will wake and go to a job where I am excited to see changes made and to know that I'm making a difference in the lives of not only my students, but perhaps also their families and my colleagues as well. I am happy that I have met really nice people here (guys included) and even if no relationship led anywhere, I'd be able to say there is a possibility for all things in Dongguan (something I NEVER would have said last year).
At home this summer, my pastor at FBC said that we couldn't live our lives on a treadmill always looking for happiness. We couldn't move place to place looking for happiness or go job to job looking for happiness. He said that we have to be content in the life we live day to day and in God find our happiness. I met him after he preached that sermon and told him I knew he was speaking straight to me that morning. I know that I've been on a treadmill in the past and I will admit that my moving does involve looking for something, occasionally. But as I've said many times before, I came to China because I 100% felt called to move here, and in all honestly, I don't feel like I'm on a treadmill. I feel like I am exactly where I'm meant to be for the time being, and when God chooses to take me someplace else, well, it's then that I'll uproot again. He has a purpose, and my prayer is that I'll always be able to listen as He guides me through this magnificent life.
In church this morning, yes, I'm now trying to regularly attend the worship service here at the local Christian school, the visiting pastor from Gainesville, GA said, "It's when we come back to life as we know it that we set things in motion." He was talking about how we may have good intentions during our holidays to set more time to devotionals, to study God's word more, to read books in general, whatever, but it's actually more difficult during those times to accomplish what we plan. It's easier when we are in life as we know it, and well, China is what I know right now. It's when I'm here that I do my daily devotional. It's here where I talk with God more; I rely on Him more. It was the same way in Ireland and Italy. It's because in those places, despite how many amazing people I met or things I got to do, I was really on my own and needed God's guidance more than ever. It's the same way here. I feel better as a Christian when I'm away from my life in Charleston, and that's really hard to explain or even myself understand, yet alone admit, but I think it says a lot about my calling in life right now.
This morning, a young girl who I happened to recognize from that Mexican restaurant (she's a waitress there), took to the pulpit to give her testimony about a trip she took to Hungary this summer. While visiting a refugee camp, she came to see her purpose for living in Dongguan. I don't know her story or what brought her to China, but I came to tears listening to her speak this morning because a) God's light shone through her more clearly than I've seen in anyone in an long time and b) she made a point to challenge all of us living in Dongguan to see our home, here in China, as a mission field. You know it's funny because when I was back home in Charleston my mom said to me that her friends suggested I go into missions. For several reasons my mother and I both feel that's not the best place for me, but I've said for the last year that really and truly, I am a missionary in ways because it's here in a place that not so many know the Lord, I can share my love for Him and His love through me.
The last week, although challenging as my new students came to school, was amazing. I am so unbelievably happy with the new administration and things that are happening at ISD. I am even happier to see there are more Christians on campus (praise be to God). I am happy to have settled back into life here. I am happy that yesterday I woke and planned an amazing vacation to the Philippines where I will lie on a beach in paradise for a week at the end of September. I'm happy that in the afternoon I attended a soccer tournament (who'd of thought) where I met two legit Irish people, Dubliner's at that. They will have to excuse me because I sort of want to be the third wheel on every one of their dates from now on just so I can hear their fab accents. I half pity and half envy their ESL students. I am happy that even though I just walked a mile to get groceries in the heat and then walked a mile back in the scorching sun carrying an extra 13 kg of weight (yes I hopped on the scale after returning) that I'm now sufficiently cooled and sitting in my apartment, which you know I love. By the way, never again will you be able to complain to me for having to jump in your SUV and drive your 10-20 minutes to Whole Foods to get groceries...hear me when I say, I take no pity on you anymore. I'm happy that today I finally got cable installed and now I can watch the BBC, History channel or whatever else till my heart's content...even with Chinese subtitles, I'm happy, and yes, I see a couch potato in the making. I am happy that tomorrow I will wake and go to a job where I am excited to see changes made and to know that I'm making a difference in the lives of not only my students, but perhaps also their families and my colleagues as well. I am happy that I have met really nice people here (guys included) and even if no relationship led anywhere, I'd be able to say there is a possibility for all things in Dongguan (something I NEVER would have said last year).
At home this summer, my pastor at FBC said that we couldn't live our lives on a treadmill always looking for happiness. We couldn't move place to place looking for happiness or go job to job looking for happiness. He said that we have to be content in the life we live day to day and in God find our happiness. I met him after he preached that sermon and told him I knew he was speaking straight to me that morning. I know that I've been on a treadmill in the past and I will admit that my moving does involve looking for something, occasionally. But as I've said many times before, I came to China because I 100% felt called to move here, and in all honestly, I don't feel like I'm on a treadmill. I feel like I am exactly where I'm meant to be for the time being, and when God chooses to take me someplace else, well, it's then that I'll uproot again. He has a purpose, and my prayer is that I'll always be able to listen as He guides me through this magnificent life.
Friday, July 31, 2015
One Year In China
It's the morning of July 31st and I've been wide awake, ironically, since about 4 am. It's ironic because the reason I'm awake is my lovely WeChat app has been going off nonstop and has totaled 30 messages (30 beeps) in the past hour or so. You see, my friend Cecil got married today, July 31st, in Hong Kong. Most of my colleagues were unable to attend, because like me, they're home or on holiday someplace. We don't have to be back at school until August 10th, so we're all enjoying the last of our freedom before getting back to the grind. Everyone, no matter the time zone, has been commenting and congratulating Cecil on his big day.
Exactly one year ago, on July 31st, 2014, I moved to China. It was my mother's 70th birthday, and I felt extremely guilty for having that as my departure day, but I boarded that plane and headed off for a journey I had been planning for nearly two years. The China part only came to fruition around January or February of 2014, but the going abroad again I knew I'd make happen as soon as I moved home from Italy in May of 2012. I felt very strongly that I wasn't meant to be in Charleston and I prayed and prayed to try and determine where the Lord would lead me.
In the last year, I have been tested and tried. I went through a period of culture shock, as we all do, and I certainly had to adjust to the way of life I'd lead for the two year contract period. I found China to be dirty and hot. Those two words are all that come to mind at the moment but I think they describe it pretty well. I found locating things pretty difficult, but not as difficult as I'd expected. Do you remember reading my post, "A Girl's Packing Guide?" Do you remember my mathematical equation to sorting out how many tampons I'd need for a year? I was told there were no tampons in China. This isn't true. There are a few places near where I live where I can find them, pricey and of poor quality, but I can find them none-the-less. I will say I recently had a rather poor experience with a box of Tampax as the plastic wrapping literally fell off the applicator when I tried to use them so that was a red flag, but when in a bind, they're there.
Locating items for cooking has been a bit of a stressor too. I certainly miss being able to get what I want when I want it. I've caught myself gawking in the grocery store here at items, simple things like brussels sprouts and sweet potatoes, kale and frozen pie crusts, organic products and craft beer. I know those things are random and clearly don't all go together, but they're items I can't find easily and we tend to take things like that for granted. When I tried to get spinach, strawberries, bell peppers and a few other items in Hong Kong to bring back to China, I had all the produce confiscated and my passport number written down. I had never been told those items couldn't cross the border so now I'm sure I'm marked "produce pusher" or something. Watch out...I'm practically a fugitive!
My professional experience in the last year has been trying. I spent a lot of time quite aggravated with the way things didn't seem to work and found it quite difficult to not get stressed over lack of cohesion or best practice taking place. I won't get too much into this as I don't want to place blame anywhere, but I will say I'm looking forward to a new year, a fresh start. A lot of my professional frustration came from simply being in an international school, not my little Heaven of Stiles Point. A lot of the "issues" I had came from wanting to compare the new place to the old place, and as I've said before, you just can't compare anything to SPES, for I had a wonderful experience there. The other issues came from lack of ease in getting decent school supplies. Teachers of America hear me...you may have your own frustrations (I know, I remember them), but I want you to cherish those Expo markers, Sharpies, index cards and sentence strips you use. When you turn on your SmartBoard, I want you to think of me. Heck, I want you to pull up Google Earth and zoom in on my part of the world. When you have your kids take out those marble composition notebooks or that lovely lined notebook paper, I want you to have them write a narrative about the thing they value most, then tell them about your friend Hannah who cries for joy over pencil cap erasers and three hole punches. I kid you not, everything is made in China, but nothing stays in China.
Despite all the hardships, I have had an amazing year. Last week, I sat down at my Mom's church after driving by and seeing the Red Cross Blood Mobile...I'm a freak and I really like giving blood. I went in and told the kid at the desk that I might not be able to give, but I'd try...I knew I'd been to some countries that might red flag me, but we could give it a go and see. The girl finally took me back to my little curtained off area and we went through all the questions, "Have you been with a man who's been with a man since 1986?" "Have you had any piercings since 1792?" "Have you or does anyone you know have any relation to Marco Polo?" I mean really. Then she gets to the "Have you been outside of the country in the last 12 months? Have you spent time adding up to more than 5 years in Europe?" Ummm, ok, yes. She asked me to list where I'd been since last July and I quickly started spitting out countries, "China, England, Ireland, Scotland, Australia, Thailand..." WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. She couldn't keep up. Ok, start over, so after an hour and a half and a lot of unnecessary stress on this poor girl, we determine I CAN'T donate because, and get this, I spent time on a beautiful RESORT in Phuket, which she kept pronouncing "Pookay" despite my corrections. I found it all hilarious and laughed, not at her (but sort of at her), the whole time I was there. I didn't get to donate, but I did get a free comedy hour and a box of Girl Scout cookies, so I consider it a win.
The point of that story is of course that in the last year, I have added several stamps to my passport, and that I love. Bear with me now, don't get stressed out like that blood donor lady...here's a quick review of where I've been since July 31st, 2014. Just like I had to do for her, I'll list all of the cities (if I can remember them).
China-Dongguan, Shenzhen, Guangzhou, Nansha, Beijing
Hong Kong (SEVERAL TIMES)
Vietnam-Ho Chi Mihn (formerly Saigon)
Thailand-Bangkok, Phuket
Australia-Sydney, Bondi, Goulburn
England-London, Bath, Lacock, Stonehenge (Wiltshire), and other small towns
Scotland-Glasgow, Ayr, Balmaha, and other small towns
Northern Ireland-Belfast
Ireland-Dublin, Dun Laoghaire, Dalkey
America-New York, Charleston, Edisto, Beaufort, Lady's Island, St. Helena Island, Port Royal (Chicago and Seattle for layovers)
Canada-Vancouver (for a layover)
and because I had a layover there and can count a new country I added in one more for good measure
India-Mumbai
When I look at that list, I'm not overly impressed like, "Wow, look at me," but in a way, I think it's pretty darn cool. In the last year I've seen more than some people see in their lifetime. In the last year, I've learned more than most could even fathom, about myself, about my beliefs, about other people, places and cultures. I have had moments of disbelief in both negative and positive ways. I have one more year ahead of me in China and I have to say, I'm really looking forward to it.
Many years ago, my sister gave me a framed quote and it now sits on the counter as you walk in the door to my apartment in Dongguan. It reads:
To move, to breathe, to fly, to float, to gain all while you give
To roam the roads of lands remote, to travel is to live.
~Hans Christian Anderson.
Exactly one year ago, on July 31st, 2014, I moved to China. It was my mother's 70th birthday, and I felt extremely guilty for having that as my departure day, but I boarded that plane and headed off for a journey I had been planning for nearly two years. The China part only came to fruition around January or February of 2014, but the going abroad again I knew I'd make happen as soon as I moved home from Italy in May of 2012. I felt very strongly that I wasn't meant to be in Charleston and I prayed and prayed to try and determine where the Lord would lead me.
In the last year, I have been tested and tried. I went through a period of culture shock, as we all do, and I certainly had to adjust to the way of life I'd lead for the two year contract period. I found China to be dirty and hot. Those two words are all that come to mind at the moment but I think they describe it pretty well. I found locating things pretty difficult, but not as difficult as I'd expected. Do you remember reading my post, "A Girl's Packing Guide?" Do you remember my mathematical equation to sorting out how many tampons I'd need for a year? I was told there were no tampons in China. This isn't true. There are a few places near where I live where I can find them, pricey and of poor quality, but I can find them none-the-less. I will say I recently had a rather poor experience with a box of Tampax as the plastic wrapping literally fell off the applicator when I tried to use them so that was a red flag, but when in a bind, they're there.
Locating items for cooking has been a bit of a stressor too. I certainly miss being able to get what I want when I want it. I've caught myself gawking in the grocery store here at items, simple things like brussels sprouts and sweet potatoes, kale and frozen pie crusts, organic products and craft beer. I know those things are random and clearly don't all go together, but they're items I can't find easily and we tend to take things like that for granted. When I tried to get spinach, strawberries, bell peppers and a few other items in Hong Kong to bring back to China, I had all the produce confiscated and my passport number written down. I had never been told those items couldn't cross the border so now I'm sure I'm marked "produce pusher" or something. Watch out...I'm practically a fugitive!
My professional experience in the last year has been trying. I spent a lot of time quite aggravated with the way things didn't seem to work and found it quite difficult to not get stressed over lack of cohesion or best practice taking place. I won't get too much into this as I don't want to place blame anywhere, but I will say I'm looking forward to a new year, a fresh start. A lot of my professional frustration came from simply being in an international school, not my little Heaven of Stiles Point. A lot of the "issues" I had came from wanting to compare the new place to the old place, and as I've said before, you just can't compare anything to SPES, for I had a wonderful experience there. The other issues came from lack of ease in getting decent school supplies. Teachers of America hear me...you may have your own frustrations (I know, I remember them), but I want you to cherish those Expo markers, Sharpies, index cards and sentence strips you use. When you turn on your SmartBoard, I want you to think of me. Heck, I want you to pull up Google Earth and zoom in on my part of the world. When you have your kids take out those marble composition notebooks or that lovely lined notebook paper, I want you to have them write a narrative about the thing they value most, then tell them about your friend Hannah who cries for joy over pencil cap erasers and three hole punches. I kid you not, everything is made in China, but nothing stays in China.
Despite all the hardships, I have had an amazing year. Last week, I sat down at my Mom's church after driving by and seeing the Red Cross Blood Mobile...I'm a freak and I really like giving blood. I went in and told the kid at the desk that I might not be able to give, but I'd try...I knew I'd been to some countries that might red flag me, but we could give it a go and see. The girl finally took me back to my little curtained off area and we went through all the questions, "Have you been with a man who's been with a man since 1986?" "Have you had any piercings since 1792?" "Have you or does anyone you know have any relation to Marco Polo?" I mean really. Then she gets to the "Have you been outside of the country in the last 12 months? Have you spent time adding up to more than 5 years in Europe?" Ummm, ok, yes. She asked me to list where I'd been since last July and I quickly started spitting out countries, "China, England, Ireland, Scotland, Australia, Thailand..." WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. She couldn't keep up. Ok, start over, so after an hour and a half and a lot of unnecessary stress on this poor girl, we determine I CAN'T donate because, and get this, I spent time on a beautiful RESORT in Phuket, which she kept pronouncing "Pookay" despite my corrections. I found it all hilarious and laughed, not at her (but sort of at her), the whole time I was there. I didn't get to donate, but I did get a free comedy hour and a box of Girl Scout cookies, so I consider it a win.
The point of that story is of course that in the last year, I have added several stamps to my passport, and that I love. Bear with me now, don't get stressed out like that blood donor lady...here's a quick review of where I've been since July 31st, 2014. Just like I had to do for her, I'll list all of the cities (if I can remember them).
China-Dongguan, Shenzhen, Guangzhou, Nansha, Beijing
Hong Kong (SEVERAL TIMES)
Vietnam-Ho Chi Mihn (formerly Saigon)
Thailand-Bangkok, Phuket
Australia-Sydney, Bondi, Goulburn
England-London, Bath, Lacock, Stonehenge (Wiltshire), and other small towns
Scotland-Glasgow, Ayr, Balmaha, and other small towns
Northern Ireland-Belfast
Ireland-Dublin, Dun Laoghaire, Dalkey
America-New York, Charleston, Edisto, Beaufort, Lady's Island, St. Helena Island, Port Royal (Chicago and Seattle for layovers)
Canada-Vancouver (for a layover)
and because I had a layover there and can count a new country I added in one more for good measure
India-Mumbai
When I look at that list, I'm not overly impressed like, "Wow, look at me," but in a way, I think it's pretty darn cool. In the last year I've seen more than some people see in their lifetime. In the last year, I've learned more than most could even fathom, about myself, about my beliefs, about other people, places and cultures. I have had moments of disbelief in both negative and positive ways. I have one more year ahead of me in China and I have to say, I'm really looking forward to it.
Many years ago, my sister gave me a framed quote and it now sits on the counter as you walk in the door to my apartment in Dongguan. It reads:
To move, to breathe, to fly, to float, to gain all while you give
To roam the roads of lands remote, to travel is to live.
~Hans Christian Anderson.
I think that beautifully sums up how I feel. I am so very blessed and I am thrilled to say I survived my first year in China. I am equally happy to say that this year, I get to be at home with my Momma on her birthday, and am very much looking forward to my last week in Charleston before heading back "home" to Dongguan.
Sunday, July 19, 2015
I Like to Move It, Move It
I have been home for 12 days now and for the last 12 days my family and friends have been extremely kind to let me borrow their vehicles or to drive me places so that I can visit with others and enjoy my beloved Charleston. As you know, I love to travel and I have been very blessed to have another great summer of holidays. A month ago I was in China, then I flew through India to London. I visited other parts of England before heading to Scotland. I ferried, taxied, and trained my way through the UK and then on to Ireland. I visited New York and then came home. It's been a great summer so far and I still have a couple of weeks left.
Being home is amazing and I am so very lucky to have such a wonderful base of friends and family here. The pastor said in church this morning that Charlestonians are supposed to be humble and not brag about our wonderful city, even though we're ranked high on travel lists and even though we are very proud of our home. I have to say, it's hard for me not to boast about this town.
One thing I won't boast about here in Charleston is the lack of public transportation. In every other city I've visited this summer, I've been able to get from "A" to "B" without renting a car. It's so unnecessary in so many other places, but Charleston doesn't allow visitors to the area the same luxury. When I first arrived here I felt confident that someone would let me borrow or "rent" their car from them. I have had that luck in the past, but not so much this time. No one I know offered to let me borrow their extra vehicle for the time I'm home. It's a month...I get that's a long time. I thought that perhaps I'd get one friend's car while they were on their vacation and then maybe get another's during their work trip, etc., but for whatever reason, it just hasn't worked out that way for me this summer. I'm not complaining in any way shape or form, please understand that. I'm just stating that I thought I'd be ok without renting a car and unfortunately, that's not the case.
About a week ago, I received an email from United, with whom I have a good many miles and a credit card. The email said I was offered a partnership with Hertz where I could rent a car and earn up to 2,250 bonus miles. I called Hertz, curiously, and got a quote for a month. I was told it would cost me $1,050 for the rental. I thought that was absurd. I am totally up for renting, but that to me seemed outrageous. My Volvo car payment was $450 a month...insurance wasn't too much on top of that, and even with taxes accounted for too, I don't think it'd add up to eleven-hundred dollars.
I declined the offer and spent another week waiting to borrow my mom's car or a friend's, but feeling really guilty about it because then that person who loaned me a vehicle was left without a ride. I had a friend pick me up yesterday to take me on the boat and when she, at midnight, had to drive me out of her way and all the way home I felt so bad I even asked her to stop halfway and let me get a taxi...she said no. I do have to admit that my sister's father in law, bless his heart, offered me his extra car, but it's an older vehicle for an older person and I, being rather superficial (hey at least I'm admitting it), politely said no thank you.
I became so stir crazy one day that after a nice run in the morning and good meditation time, I literally got online looking for cars to purchase. I thought, if I'm living abroad for another year or so at least, I will definitely need a car during my visits home. Perhaps selling the Volvo wasn't the best idea in the world. I've been home three times already this year and will return at Christmas. Granted, I didn't rent anything the last two times, but if I were to return and rent again even a few more times, that to me seems a lot of "wasted" money. I'm of the mindset that I could purchase something, maybe not as nice as what I've always had, maybe not an SUV, but something, and that way I'd never feel the guilt of putting someone else out and I'd never feel trapped at home. *I would like to sidebar here and say that I have been out a lot and I have enjoyed my time in the city as well as time resting and visiting at home with my mom. I'm not trying to sound like I'm ungrateful for anything and I especially don't want Mom to think that by saying I feel "trapped" I haven't enjoyed my time with her. I simply mean I don't have the freedom to run to Walgreens for toothpaste or to a friend's for a glass of wine because I feel so badly about asking to borrow her car.
I haven't purchased anything yet, but it is something I'm seriously considering. A friend even said he might go in on it with me so it's a thought I'll not push away for the time being. Maybe when I'm home at Christmas I can look at year end deals and see how I feel. I'm honestly on the "just do it" end of the spectrum.
After nearly two weeks of not having my "own" vehicle in Hanahan, a small community where my only option for transportation is either taking someone else's car, riding the Carta bus which was in fact a Bucket List idea of mine, riding a bike, walking, or taxiing, I have just gotten off the phone with Hertz again and I am accepting their offer. I pick up my car tomorrow morning. I've only rented for a week because I have been told that I can borrow a friend's car the following week, but who knows if that will pan out. At least I'll have wheels for the next 7 days. My dear mother seems angry that I'm "wasting" the money this week but I think it'll be the best $200 I've spent since I came home. I responded to her comment with, "Thank you for wanting to help, but I'm an adult and I feel like I should be able to provide this service for myself." Not sure how well that went over...
I just have to end by reiterating, I am not super fond of the idea of renting each time, but I am so happy that tomorrow I'll have my "own" wheels. It feels good because, like the Madagascar animals say, "I like to move it, move it," and tomorrow I'll be able to do so without having to ask for anyone's help!!
Being home is amazing and I am so very lucky to have such a wonderful base of friends and family here. The pastor said in church this morning that Charlestonians are supposed to be humble and not brag about our wonderful city, even though we're ranked high on travel lists and even though we are very proud of our home. I have to say, it's hard for me not to boast about this town.
One thing I won't boast about here in Charleston is the lack of public transportation. In every other city I've visited this summer, I've been able to get from "A" to "B" without renting a car. It's so unnecessary in so many other places, but Charleston doesn't allow visitors to the area the same luxury. When I first arrived here I felt confident that someone would let me borrow or "rent" their car from them. I have had that luck in the past, but not so much this time. No one I know offered to let me borrow their extra vehicle for the time I'm home. It's a month...I get that's a long time. I thought that perhaps I'd get one friend's car while they were on their vacation and then maybe get another's during their work trip, etc., but for whatever reason, it just hasn't worked out that way for me this summer. I'm not complaining in any way shape or form, please understand that. I'm just stating that I thought I'd be ok without renting a car and unfortunately, that's not the case.
About a week ago, I received an email from United, with whom I have a good many miles and a credit card. The email said I was offered a partnership with Hertz where I could rent a car and earn up to 2,250 bonus miles. I called Hertz, curiously, and got a quote for a month. I was told it would cost me $1,050 for the rental. I thought that was absurd. I am totally up for renting, but that to me seemed outrageous. My Volvo car payment was $450 a month...insurance wasn't too much on top of that, and even with taxes accounted for too, I don't think it'd add up to eleven-hundred dollars.
I declined the offer and spent another week waiting to borrow my mom's car or a friend's, but feeling really guilty about it because then that person who loaned me a vehicle was left without a ride. I had a friend pick me up yesterday to take me on the boat and when she, at midnight, had to drive me out of her way and all the way home I felt so bad I even asked her to stop halfway and let me get a taxi...she said no. I do have to admit that my sister's father in law, bless his heart, offered me his extra car, but it's an older vehicle for an older person and I, being rather superficial (hey at least I'm admitting it), politely said no thank you.
I became so stir crazy one day that after a nice run in the morning and good meditation time, I literally got online looking for cars to purchase. I thought, if I'm living abroad for another year or so at least, I will definitely need a car during my visits home. Perhaps selling the Volvo wasn't the best idea in the world. I've been home three times already this year and will return at Christmas. Granted, I didn't rent anything the last two times, but if I were to return and rent again even a few more times, that to me seems a lot of "wasted" money. I'm of the mindset that I could purchase something, maybe not as nice as what I've always had, maybe not an SUV, but something, and that way I'd never feel the guilt of putting someone else out and I'd never feel trapped at home. *I would like to sidebar here and say that I have been out a lot and I have enjoyed my time in the city as well as time resting and visiting at home with my mom. I'm not trying to sound like I'm ungrateful for anything and I especially don't want Mom to think that by saying I feel "trapped" I haven't enjoyed my time with her. I simply mean I don't have the freedom to run to Walgreens for toothpaste or to a friend's for a glass of wine because I feel so badly about asking to borrow her car.
I haven't purchased anything yet, but it is something I'm seriously considering. A friend even said he might go in on it with me so it's a thought I'll not push away for the time being. Maybe when I'm home at Christmas I can look at year end deals and see how I feel. I'm honestly on the "just do it" end of the spectrum.
After nearly two weeks of not having my "own" vehicle in Hanahan, a small community where my only option for transportation is either taking someone else's car, riding the Carta bus which was in fact a Bucket List idea of mine, riding a bike, walking, or taxiing, I have just gotten off the phone with Hertz again and I am accepting their offer. I pick up my car tomorrow morning. I've only rented for a week because I have been told that I can borrow a friend's car the following week, but who knows if that will pan out. At least I'll have wheels for the next 7 days. My dear mother seems angry that I'm "wasting" the money this week but I think it'll be the best $200 I've spent since I came home. I responded to her comment with, "Thank you for wanting to help, but I'm an adult and I feel like I should be able to provide this service for myself." Not sure how well that went over...
I just have to end by reiterating, I am not super fond of the idea of renting each time, but I am so happy that tomorrow I'll have my "own" wheels. It feels good because, like the Madagascar animals say, "I like to move it, move it," and tomorrow I'll be able to do so without having to ask for anyone's help!!
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Ireland's in Tears
It's the morning of my departure day. Today I leave Ireland and go to New York. I woke up early this morning, as usual, and am sitting here in bed with a cuppa tea as it's quite cool today. The week has been gorgeous with sunny skies and relatively warm temperatures. There have been few instances of rain, so few in fact that I've not once opened an umbrella or put on a rain coat here in Dublin. It's been absolutely amazing.
My plan today, as I don't leave until late this afternoon, was to get up and walk down to the Church of Ireland in Dun Laoghaire, then head over to the People's Park farmer's market for last minute treats to carry home and a yummy, quick lunch. With the intensity of the rain that's falling at the moment, I don't know if either will happen. It's perfectly fitting this morning though, as I feel a bit of sadness as I prepare to leave today.
This week has been exactly what I hoped it'd be. I wanted to come to Dublin and have a low key week with little "touring" and more "at home" happenings. I wanted to visit with friends, to catch up with those that meant the most to me when living here before. I've had a lot of time to do that this week and to reflect on my time here before. I've also had time to ponder what I want the future to hold.
I've been to Dublin a few times since I lived here in 2011. I've seen some of the friends in other parts of the world when we've had the chance to meet, and I've kept in touch with others via Facebook and email. In the past when I've visited Dublin, I've contemplated whether I'd like to live here again. Actually I vividly remember that first trip back when I was sort of disappointed with the state of things here and thought I'd not ever need to live here again. This trip has been better, and I haven't felt quite as much of that disappointment, but I can say that there are things that have lost their magic. For example, I walked by my old flat and saw that it was for sale now, uninhabited, the building up for a mere 1.6 million euro. The street I remember was a beautiful one lined with green trees and lovely houses. This time walking down Leeson Park, I felt it looked neglected. There were buildings in disrepair, shrubbery gone wild, and trash along the road. The road construction in Dublin is a hot mess at the moment too, and that always takes away from a city's attractiveness.
Even with some disappointment, Dublin does still have most of its charm. I didn't go down Grafton Street or to Trinity College this trip, I stayed away from O'Connell Bridge all but one short walk, I didn't even walk through Stephens Green or Merrion Square. I didn't do anything touristy at all really, except for the Skyline at Croke Park which, in all honesty I'd not recommend anyone do unless you're truly a Gaelic football fan and want to see the stadium and museum. The views weren't all that great up there and although it was cool to walk the top of the stadium, wasn't my favorite experience here in Dublin.
I did enjoy going to the park for picnics, walking the seafront, eating at local restaurants and visiting the theatre for the very Irish "Shadow of a Gunman." I spent time with friends at their homes or local spots and really felt connected to being back here. Several of the people with whom I visited suggested, or rather insisted, I come back. One even made the point of offering to put me in contact with those at a few colleges here as I am seriously considering a PhD. I have thought about it a lot in the past few years because I really do love Ireland and I feel very drawn to this country. I know that I am meant to be in China at the moment and that I am serving a purpose there. I have absolutely no idea where I'll go when my time in China is up, but I do feel that I could happily return to Ireland. I did make the comment that perhaps Dublin isn't the city for me though, really, as I love the west coast and small, more quaint towns. I love places further south like Cork and Killarney and then of course Galway is absolutely amazing too. Who knows if I'll return to live permanently or not, but I think that Ireland's a little sad to see me go today. The rain is a peaceful parting gift as the week has been bright and sunny, like my visit, and now it's time to say so long for a short period. It's been two years since I was last here and I hope it won't be another two years before I return, but Ireland knows it's in my heart no matter where I may be, so dry up those tears old friend...I'll be back soon enough.
My plan today, as I don't leave until late this afternoon, was to get up and walk down to the Church of Ireland in Dun Laoghaire, then head over to the People's Park farmer's market for last minute treats to carry home and a yummy, quick lunch. With the intensity of the rain that's falling at the moment, I don't know if either will happen. It's perfectly fitting this morning though, as I feel a bit of sadness as I prepare to leave today.
This week has been exactly what I hoped it'd be. I wanted to come to Dublin and have a low key week with little "touring" and more "at home" happenings. I wanted to visit with friends, to catch up with those that meant the most to me when living here before. I've had a lot of time to do that this week and to reflect on my time here before. I've also had time to ponder what I want the future to hold.
I've been to Dublin a few times since I lived here in 2011. I've seen some of the friends in other parts of the world when we've had the chance to meet, and I've kept in touch with others via Facebook and email. In the past when I've visited Dublin, I've contemplated whether I'd like to live here again. Actually I vividly remember that first trip back when I was sort of disappointed with the state of things here and thought I'd not ever need to live here again. This trip has been better, and I haven't felt quite as much of that disappointment, but I can say that there are things that have lost their magic. For example, I walked by my old flat and saw that it was for sale now, uninhabited, the building up for a mere 1.6 million euro. The street I remember was a beautiful one lined with green trees and lovely houses. This time walking down Leeson Park, I felt it looked neglected. There were buildings in disrepair, shrubbery gone wild, and trash along the road. The road construction in Dublin is a hot mess at the moment too, and that always takes away from a city's attractiveness.
Even with some disappointment, Dublin does still have most of its charm. I didn't go down Grafton Street or to Trinity College this trip, I stayed away from O'Connell Bridge all but one short walk, I didn't even walk through Stephens Green or Merrion Square. I didn't do anything touristy at all really, except for the Skyline at Croke Park which, in all honesty I'd not recommend anyone do unless you're truly a Gaelic football fan and want to see the stadium and museum. The views weren't all that great up there and although it was cool to walk the top of the stadium, wasn't my favorite experience here in Dublin.
I did enjoy going to the park for picnics, walking the seafront, eating at local restaurants and visiting the theatre for the very Irish "Shadow of a Gunman." I spent time with friends at their homes or local spots and really felt connected to being back here. Several of the people with whom I visited suggested, or rather insisted, I come back. One even made the point of offering to put me in contact with those at a few colleges here as I am seriously considering a PhD. I have thought about it a lot in the past few years because I really do love Ireland and I feel very drawn to this country. I know that I am meant to be in China at the moment and that I am serving a purpose there. I have absolutely no idea where I'll go when my time in China is up, but I do feel that I could happily return to Ireland. I did make the comment that perhaps Dublin isn't the city for me though, really, as I love the west coast and small, more quaint towns. I love places further south like Cork and Killarney and then of course Galway is absolutely amazing too. Who knows if I'll return to live permanently or not, but I think that Ireland's a little sad to see me go today. The rain is a peaceful parting gift as the week has been bright and sunny, like my visit, and now it's time to say so long for a short period. It's been two years since I was last here and I hope it won't be another two years before I return, but Ireland knows it's in my heart no matter where I may be, so dry up those tears old friend...I'll be back soon enough.
Short video of rain off the back patio this morning
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
"At Home" in Ireland
Well, after nearly 13 hours of travel time from Scotland to Belfast via a taxi, a bus and a ferry, then from Belfast to Dublin via another taxi and more buses, I made it to the small seaside town of Dun Laoghaire on Monday night.
On the morning of my departure, I got up at 5 (no alarm) and went for a run along the seaside in Ayr. I was the first to breakfast in my cute little inn and then made it to the train station before most had even awoken. Leaving Ayr at 8:40 or so, I took a lovely coach ride along the coast to the ferry terminal, nearly an hour and a half away. Then once on the ferry, I sat near the window and snoozed (don't tell Mrs. Poole) as we crossed the Irish Sea. When I arrived in Belfast, I taxied from the terminal to the bus station with a very animated driver who professed his love for me, and then, narrowly escaping his advances, I got the Air Coach to Dublin. The major benefit of the Air Coach is that it has wifi, although this must have been the first coach ever used because the interior of the bus was pretty worn, and that's putting it lightly.
I arrived at Dublin airport shortly after 5 pm and took the next Air Coach to my destination of Foxrock, just south of Dublin. My Airbnb hostess picked me up here and drove me to her house. She lives in a cute little cottage just ten minutes walking from Dun Laoghaire. When I moved to Dublin in 2011, I had considered finding a flat in the area. It's a pleasant little town, but at that time, I had decided I needed to be closer to the "action" of Dublin. For this trip, I felt ok being out here because I've done Dublin so many times and this trip was meant to be a little more relaxing.
I was happy Monday night to have a cuppa tea with my hostess before freshening up and then going into town for dinner. She drove me to a place she recommended, a little Italian restaurant called Oliveto. I sat at the bar and thoroughly enjoyed my meal. It was too much to eat so I brought home leftovers, but the pasta was amazing (and that I finished). I wrote a review for them immediately and seriously considered going back last night.
Yesterday was my first full day back in Ireland so I woke up, not so early, and decided to take a walk. I wasn't pressed for time or racing out to see anything...I know this area well as I visited here often when I lived in Dublin. I brought my sister and mother here on their visits and came often to the farmers' market on the weekends (I'll sadly miss it this trip).
I set out yesterday morning just before 11 after having some yummy yogurt with fresh raspberries and a cuppa tea. I walked the 10 minutes downhill towards Dun Laoghaire, turned left to go into the town, walked all the way down the main street, then headed back towards the sea. Along the way, I stopped in several little charity shops (the UK and Ireland are chock full of them and they are great places to find little trinkets as well as cheap books). In one shop, the first book I picked up was The Healer Within, a book using traditional Chinese techniques to release your body's own medicine. I purchased it for a whopping 1 Euro. I guess you can take the girl out of China but you can't take China out of the girl! ;)
I walked down past the yacht club and all the way out to the old light house (which now houses an ice cream shop) at the end of the pier. After walking all the way back up, I headed further down the seaside to an area where I finally sat in the sun to rest a few minutes. I read a few pages of my new book, but my stomach started growling so I headed up towards the little town of Glasthule which borders Dun Laoghaire. There is a darling shop here called 64 Wine in which Mom and I ate before. I went in to have my lunch here, debating what to get, but settling on a caprese ciabatta. Honestly, it probably wasn't the best choice as there was little flavor, but the olives they served along side the sandwich were good and made me, at about 1 o'clock, crave a dirty martini. I resisted the temptation and instead set out walking again.
I stopped in many little shops here: an antique store where I once bought earrings, a few small grocery shops where lots of special items can be found, clothing shops, and a great new art gallery. After passing through this area, I set out uphill again towards Dalkey, another area Mom and I visited. There are lots of little museums and things to do along these walks, including the James Joyce Museum and Tower as well as the Dalkey Castle Historic Center, but I've done most of them before, so this trip was more about just walking.
In Dalkey, I went in every little grocer I could find. There are so many specialty shops here. I could do some serious shopping for dinner planning. I thought about purchasing some things, but I wanted to keep walking and I knew things would spoil if I bought...yesterday was the nicest day Dublin's seen all summer and it was pretty hot for what the city normally gets.
On my way out of Dalkey, I grabbed an Italian ice, pineapple, and walked back towards Sandycove. Getting a little tired again, and wanting to read more of my new book, I found a little marina where I sat and soaked in the sun, listened to the seagulls' music and the waves crashing, and read a bit more about self healing. I think it's a bit ironic as I truly believe the wind and the ocean can heal, so my breathing was deep and purposeful while sitting there taking it all in.
Knowing I had a bit more walking to do before getting "home," I closed my book and headed back towards the cottage. I stopped in a few more shops or peeked in windows along the way, and finally made it back the cottage around 4. It seemed as if I had been walking all day, but really I'd only been out a few hours. Feeling pretty tired though, and wanting to enjoy the sun more, I went out in the back garden and read a bit more of my book. I changed into shorts to try and get sun on my oh so white legs, but my shoulders were so red that I quickly came back inside. Yesterday was absolutely gorgeous and I was outside for most of it, so I don't feel like I missed out on sitting inside a little while.
After a few hours of resting, writing reviews, chatting with friends via text and Facebook, etc., I finally got up and showered for dinner. I had considered making something myself, but sort of wanted to go back in town to eat. I poured a glass of wine (a bottle I bought in Glasgow and have been toting around with me) and then when finished, walked down to the seaside to a place I'd read about called The Hen House. I had considered going back to the Italian place, and honestly, should have done so.
The service at The Hen House was pretty mediocre. The food was ok, but not outstanding, and the atmosphere was much less intimate than Oliveto. I ate a fried brie starter and then had the lamb for my main. Nothing was stellar and with the lack of good service, probably isn't a place I'll ever go again.
After walking back after dinner, I checked my phone for the number of steps I'd taken yesterday. I walked a total of 10.47 miles and took a massive 25,457 steps. Insane. After all that, I came home and did sit-ups because I was feeling so full from dinner!
I watched my fav "Come Dine With Me" on 4 on Demand (a website where you can stream shows from the UK and Ireland) and then went to bed late, around midnight. This morning I woke and decided to take it easy for the beginning half of the day because I'm meeting a friend in the city later this afternoon.
I am so very happy to be back. People often ask me if I'd ever live here again and I have a hard time deciding to be honest. There are parts of this city that I really love. I feel so at home here, but there are also things that I don't care so much for and so I have to weigh out the pros and cons. I do feel I could live in Ireland again, but perhaps somewhere other than Dublin. Who knows. For now, I will enjoy feeling "at home" and in a week, I'll actually be home in Charleston. What a summer!!
On the morning of my departure, I got up at 5 (no alarm) and went for a run along the seaside in Ayr. I was the first to breakfast in my cute little inn and then made it to the train station before most had even awoken. Leaving Ayr at 8:40 or so, I took a lovely coach ride along the coast to the ferry terminal, nearly an hour and a half away. Then once on the ferry, I sat near the window and snoozed (don't tell Mrs. Poole) as we crossed the Irish Sea. When I arrived in Belfast, I taxied from the terminal to the bus station with a very animated driver who professed his love for me, and then, narrowly escaping his advances, I got the Air Coach to Dublin. The major benefit of the Air Coach is that it has wifi, although this must have been the first coach ever used because the interior of the bus was pretty worn, and that's putting it lightly.
I arrived at Dublin airport shortly after 5 pm and took the next Air Coach to my destination of Foxrock, just south of Dublin. My Airbnb hostess picked me up here and drove me to her house. She lives in a cute little cottage just ten minutes walking from Dun Laoghaire. When I moved to Dublin in 2011, I had considered finding a flat in the area. It's a pleasant little town, but at that time, I had decided I needed to be closer to the "action" of Dublin. For this trip, I felt ok being out here because I've done Dublin so many times and this trip was meant to be a little more relaxing.
I was happy Monday night to have a cuppa tea with my hostess before freshening up and then going into town for dinner. She drove me to a place she recommended, a little Italian restaurant called Oliveto. I sat at the bar and thoroughly enjoyed my meal. It was too much to eat so I brought home leftovers, but the pasta was amazing (and that I finished). I wrote a review for them immediately and seriously considered going back last night.
Yesterday was my first full day back in Ireland so I woke up, not so early, and decided to take a walk. I wasn't pressed for time or racing out to see anything...I know this area well as I visited here often when I lived in Dublin. I brought my sister and mother here on their visits and came often to the farmers' market on the weekends (I'll sadly miss it this trip).
I set out yesterday morning just before 11 after having some yummy yogurt with fresh raspberries and a cuppa tea. I walked the 10 minutes downhill towards Dun Laoghaire, turned left to go into the town, walked all the way down the main street, then headed back towards the sea. Along the way, I stopped in several little charity shops (the UK and Ireland are chock full of them and they are great places to find little trinkets as well as cheap books). In one shop, the first book I picked up was The Healer Within, a book using traditional Chinese techniques to release your body's own medicine. I purchased it for a whopping 1 Euro. I guess you can take the girl out of China but you can't take China out of the girl! ;)
I walked down past the yacht club and all the way out to the old light house (which now houses an ice cream shop) at the end of the pier. After walking all the way back up, I headed further down the seaside to an area where I finally sat in the sun to rest a few minutes. I read a few pages of my new book, but my stomach started growling so I headed up towards the little town of Glasthule which borders Dun Laoghaire. There is a darling shop here called 64 Wine in which Mom and I ate before. I went in to have my lunch here, debating what to get, but settling on a caprese ciabatta. Honestly, it probably wasn't the best choice as there was little flavor, but the olives they served along side the sandwich were good and made me, at about 1 o'clock, crave a dirty martini. I resisted the temptation and instead set out walking again.
I stopped in many little shops here: an antique store where I once bought earrings, a few small grocery shops where lots of special items can be found, clothing shops, and a great new art gallery. After passing through this area, I set out uphill again towards Dalkey, another area Mom and I visited. There are lots of little museums and things to do along these walks, including the James Joyce Museum and Tower as well as the Dalkey Castle Historic Center, but I've done most of them before, so this trip was more about just walking.
In Dalkey, I went in every little grocer I could find. There are so many specialty shops here. I could do some serious shopping for dinner planning. I thought about purchasing some things, but I wanted to keep walking and I knew things would spoil if I bought...yesterday was the nicest day Dublin's seen all summer and it was pretty hot for what the city normally gets.
On my way out of Dalkey, I grabbed an Italian ice, pineapple, and walked back towards Sandycove. Getting a little tired again, and wanting to read more of my new book, I found a little marina where I sat and soaked in the sun, listened to the seagulls' music and the waves crashing, and read a bit more about self healing. I think it's a bit ironic as I truly believe the wind and the ocean can heal, so my breathing was deep and purposeful while sitting there taking it all in.
Knowing I had a bit more walking to do before getting "home," I closed my book and headed back towards the cottage. I stopped in a few more shops or peeked in windows along the way, and finally made it back the cottage around 4. It seemed as if I had been walking all day, but really I'd only been out a few hours. Feeling pretty tired though, and wanting to enjoy the sun more, I went out in the back garden and read a bit more of my book. I changed into shorts to try and get sun on my oh so white legs, but my shoulders were so red that I quickly came back inside. Yesterday was absolutely gorgeous and I was outside for most of it, so I don't feel like I missed out on sitting inside a little while.
After a few hours of resting, writing reviews, chatting with friends via text and Facebook, etc., I finally got up and showered for dinner. I had considered making something myself, but sort of wanted to go back in town to eat. I poured a glass of wine (a bottle I bought in Glasgow and have been toting around with me) and then when finished, walked down to the seaside to a place I'd read about called The Hen House. I had considered going back to the Italian place, and honestly, should have done so.
The service at The Hen House was pretty mediocre. The food was ok, but not outstanding, and the atmosphere was much less intimate than Oliveto. I ate a fried brie starter and then had the lamb for my main. Nothing was stellar and with the lack of good service, probably isn't a place I'll ever go again.
After walking back after dinner, I checked my phone for the number of steps I'd taken yesterday. I walked a total of 10.47 miles and took a massive 25,457 steps. Insane. After all that, I came home and did sit-ups because I was feeling so full from dinner!
I watched my fav "Come Dine With Me" on 4 on Demand (a website where you can stream shows from the UK and Ireland) and then went to bed late, around midnight. This morning I woke and decided to take it easy for the beginning half of the day because I'm meeting a friend in the city later this afternoon.
I am so very happy to be back. People often ask me if I'd ever live here again and I have a hard time deciding to be honest. There are parts of this city that I really love. I feel so at home here, but there are also things that I don't care so much for and so I have to weigh out the pros and cons. I do feel I could live in Ireland again, but perhaps somewhere other than Dublin. Who knows. For now, I will enjoy feeling "at home" and in a week, I'll actually be home in Charleston. What a summer!!
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