Decisions, Decisions

I don't know what it is about coming back from Australia that's made me really start thinking about what I'm doing when I finish my stint here in China. I mean, yes, it could be that I was in a beautiful country with clear blue skies and returned to this place where, as I mentioned, I could barely see the buildings in front of me due to the pollution. In all honesty though, this week has been gorgeous (or as gorgeous as it can be). We've had our own version of blue skies since last Saturday. I have seen stars, like 12 of them, almost every single night! It's amazing!

After living here 6 months, I feel like I've been here much longer. There are things I'm still discovering and I'm so happy when I stumble across a new clothing store (like I wrote about in last week's blog Retail Therapy) or a market that sells Western products. I found Playtex tampons in a shop the other day and about died...do you remember reading about how I calculated tampons for a whole year in A Girl's Packing Guide? I get really excited when I hear a new English accent (sorry but it's my favorite and lately I've heard a lot) and I get to enjoy a little British banter. I still LOVE my apartment (that's been a running joke because I think my apartment is my favorite thing about this whole experience, and it's nice, but it's not Caesar's palace), but China in general is well, "ehhh," as I just told my friend back home.

It's all about the experience and what you make of it, and I am the kind of person who WANTS to make it a good one. I WANT to be positive and I WANT to live in the moment. It's easier said than done though. I keep seeing pictures from back home...beautiful oak trees lining long, dirt roads, panoramic views of the Battery, the bird's eye view pictures I myself took during my Bucket List helicopter flight. I am telling you what...I come from one BEAUTIFUL city. There really are very few places in the world that capture my heart like Charleston does. The icing on the cake of course is the fact that the people in Charleston are so hospitable. I mean, really, how hard is it to smile at person as they walk by, give a little nod, say hello?! I get SO irritated by people who lack this common courtesy, but I digress.

In the last week, I may have made a few comments about home (in the last 6 months I may have made few more). I may have spoken of the beauty of the city, the beauty of the people, the warmth of the sun, the smell of the marsh (oh there I go again), but it's hard not to talk about a place that is so wonderful. The other night I mentioned something that my school district back home did, and that I feel all school districts SHOULD do, and a friend here said something along the lines of, "Oh, not all districts can be as PERFECT as yours." Those weren't the exact words, but you can easily catch the undertone. Let me just say quickly that Charleston County School District wasn't and still isn't perfect, BUT I did come from one AMAZING school and other facilities could learn a great deal from modeling themselves after Stiles Point (in it's glory days with Steve Burger). I have had many email, phone, and face to face conversations this week again about how things should be done, and how frustrated I get when best practice is not implemented. That's a soap box I'd rather not get on at the moment though.

So away from school, even though I'm never really away from school here, another thing that I've noticed is how so many people become complacent with their work, their lives. I don't know if it's how I was brought up or if it's just me and maybe I truly do think too highly of myself, but I feel I deserve more than complacency. If I'm not happy with my hair, I highlight it. If I'm not happy with my weight, I run. If I'm not happy with my job, I make the changes (usually within myself) to find a way to make things better. It's what I did recently when I came Out of the Funk and Into the Light. I don't like settling. I don't settle. That's why (in my own head anyway) I'm not married. I want it; I want it badly, but I don't think it should be marriage for the sake of being married. I don't think I should keep a job for the sake of keeping a job. If someone speaks to me and offends me, I'm going to let them know. If a restaurant treats me poorly or gives me bad service, I am going to write a killer review that lets the world know. I just don't hold back the truth of things, and if the truth will help, no pun intended, set me free, then by George I'm going to speak it.
*Side bar-I know I have my own issues and in no way do I truly think that highly of myself...I know I am blessed with confidence but that it can also be a dangerous line to walk, and although I may sound really conceited here, I'm not. I know that it's the Lord who made me me and I'm not any better than anyone else...I just wish other people would sometimes look at themselves in a similar light, a light of self love.

This rant takes me back to Charleston for one moment, and the title of the blog "Decisions, Decisions." You may ask, "Well if Charleston's so great, why did you leave?" Good one...thanks for asking. You see, it's part of the non complacency thing. I get stir crazy. I LOVE my hometown, but I also LOVE traveling. I LOVE a challenge, and I LOVE meeting new people. I know that one day I may get tired of it, but as for now, I am single, I do have skills/talents/experience that can be used to support a lifestyle that allows me to see different parts of the world, and I think that, as much as I love Charleston, I'm doing the right thing. I am counting down the days until I get to go home (four weeks from today thank you), but I'm also counting down the days until I get to go back to Hong Kong next weekend, and I'm counting down the days until I get to explore more of Asia this summer. I'm always looking ahead, which is totally contradictory to living in the moment, but maybe "the moment" is relative and perhaps my moment is the two year chunk of time I've set for myself to see this side of the world. When the time is up, then I'll make the next big decision for my future. But maybe, that decision isn't meant to be made right now.